Get The Carefree Girl Back

Get The Carefree Girl Back

When you first started dating, your priorities were getting to know each other, having fun and being romantic. But once you drifted out of the honeymoon orbit and reentered the real world, chances are you found that your daily routine, with all its work, house chores and other responsibilities, took over. It’s no wonder that you somehow lost your carefree, fun-loving girlfriend in the process. But here’s how to get her -- as well as the fun spirit of your relationship -- back for a sequel.

Provide a secure environment

One of the real fun suckers in any relationship is unnecessary stress. This can be due to insecurities or jealousies, which usually boil down to one person not feeling confident in the relationship. Many women feel that they can’t enjoy a committed relationship unless it’s towering with stability, so what’s vital is that you zap those silly stressors by being open and honest with each other. If she feels secure in the relationship, she will let her guard down. That will translate into both of you having more fun.

Get away from each other

Of course, when you first started dating all you wanted was to spend time cocooned together. But life has to go on and now you probably find that, between work and all your other activities, you don't get to spend as much time with each other as you used to. Although your immediate reaction to this realization could be to cram in more time together, don’t let yourselves become glued together at the hip because that’s a surefire way to smother the flame.

To keep it burning for longer, it helps to spend time away from her. Hang out with your friends and let her have time with hers, too. This time apart is important because always being in each other’s space, especially if you live together, can lead to something fun becoming boring. What you want to do is make the time you do spend with your girlfriend as special as possible.

Do something fun every week

Organize a weekly date night and schedule it into your planner so that you make it as important as a business meeting. Note: Spending time together by default (for instance, doing household chores) doesn’t count as quality time.

Make your dates more inventive than the usual dinner and a movie, so that you look forward to them as much as you did at the start of your relationship. Think bonfires on the beach, trips to the zoo, a wine-tasting excursion, or a picnic in your living room. You could also think up some fun activities or hobbies to pursue together, such as trying out a new sport. These will be great bonding experiences and both of you will anticipate the weekly adventure. Having fun in your relationship keeps it alive.

Go on vacation

Research from the Netherlands found that simply planning a vacation causes a big boost in levels of happiness. The study was published in the Journal of Applied Research in Quality of Life and surveyed happiness levels among over 1530 Dutch adults, 974 of whom went on a holiday during the 32-week study period. The results found that anticipating a vacation led to happiness. So just planning a holiday can bring some excitement to your relationship. Getting away from the routine of daily life is great because you can spend time doing what you love and enjoy quality time without interruptions. There are no stressful family or career issues causing you to miss out on the fun you can have in a fresh environment.

But don’t let the fun stop when you return home. Try to incorporate that carefree feeling into your real life in small ways. For instance, if you enjoyed taking time daily to chat over a glass of wine, try to do that in evenings; likewise, if you both felt rejuvenated at trying new activities during your holiday, consider taking up some classes where you can learn something new together.

bottom line

Getting your carefree girlfriend back is not about trying to change your girlfriend or backtrack to the honeymoon phase (which isn’t built to last, by the way). Instead, it’s about trying to keep the relationship as enjoyable and exciting as possible, instead of letting yourselves fall into a rut.

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Top 10 : Get Her Thinking Of You

Top 10 : Get Her Thinking Of You

Top 10 Ways To Get Her Thinking Of You

No.10 - Use "little things" to woo her

There are a ton of “little things” that women look for to help them make big decisions about what kind of man you are. They instantly tell women whether or not you are worthy of a second thought. Maintaining eye contact, strong posture, not fidgeting; all of these are great things for you to pay attention to. By the way, women make these decisions on a subconscious level. They don't look at a guy, then say to a friend: "Well, he maintained eye contact when I first looked at him, then he held his head up high in a dominant posture, so, I'm going to give him a chance." Practice these simple steps and a woman will naturally want to spend more time with you.

No.9 - Break the ice online

Women aren't interested in being bored to tears by some guy who says: "Hi, here's my profile, please let me know if you're interested in knowing more." They want a challenge, they want electricity and they want someone who can hold their interest. So, be cocky, funny and playful. Say something like: "Saw your profile and I think you deserve a chance to get to know me. I think we could get along well. If you are interested, (which I know you will be) drop me a line, and if you sound as interesting as your profile says I might write back. " Women aren't interested in finding another friend when it comes to dating and romance. They want someone who makes them feel attraction.

No.8 - Get tons of dates

When guys get a woman’s number, we often start to feel weird about turning right around, talking to another woman, and getting her number too. We don't want to be seen as a "player" or insincere. My advice? Get over it. If you enjoy talking to a woman, and you'd like to get her number and go talk to other women, just say: "Here, write down your e-mail and number. I'm going to get back to being social." Women will see you as more interesting if you are talking to all of the women at the party.

No.7 - Get her number easily

Most guys are very nervous about approaching and starting conversations with women. However, if you can just realize that women want to meet men, and that they want men to approach them, it makes you consider that women probably want guys who aren't acting nervous and insecure. So, be direct and use what I call the "One Compliment" approach. Try saying, "Hi, you are... [pause]... beautiful and I had to take a moment and meet you." The pause is priceless. Look directly into her eyes as you talk -- and as you pause. This communicates that you're not afraid of her. Make small talk for a minute, then ask for her number. Easy.

No.6 - Go to a physical level

It’s important that you learn how to go from one stage to the next with a woman. Let’s say you’re at a bar or club and you meet a girl you really like and you start kissing. You can say, “Hey, come with me," and then take her hand and lead her to another part of the club or bar, or take her to the dance floor (or some combination), and then start kissing again. Then say: "Hey, I'm going to this other bar, come along with me." Once you're there, you continue all of the way until closing, when you say: "Hey, let's keep talking; this is fun. Give me a ride home..."

No.5 - Go to a physical level - take two

A woman wants to feel that things are developing naturally, not that you are just trying to get her into bed as fast as you can. If the evening unfolds in a normal, natural way, and you can progress from one level to the next, you'll do very well and go far. Why do you lead her to another part of the club and then take her somewhere else? Physically leading a woman is very powerful, and leaving together/showing up somewhere else together changes things. When you arrive at the new place, even though you're the same two people who just met, you're now together at the new place. And when you suggest continuing to talk, and her giving you a ride home (or some variation), it's not like saying: "Come shag me." You're making it clear that you want to spend time with her, and it leaves the possibility of anything happening open.

No.4 - Be more than just a friend

When a woman says, "I only like you as a friend" or "I've been hurt, so I want to take this slow" or "I like you so much, I don't want to lose you as a friend" -- or any of the million variations of these things -- it usually  means that you're not doing the things it takes to create attraction. She doesn't feel it for you. And if she doesn't feel it, then there are no shortcuts, my man. Stop being such a "nice" guy, and start doing the things you're learning from me to spark some chemistry.

No.3 - Reverse your role

One of the best ways to tease a woman -- and amp up the attraction -- is to use "reverse gender stereotypes." If a woman says, "Give me your number" you can say: "Look, I'm not that easy... Don't think that just because I give you my number that I'm going to go out with you or sleep with you." Or, if you're talking to a woman at a bar and the conversation is going well, you can say: "OK, let's just cut to the chase: Are you going to offer to buy me a drink or what?" Attractive women instantly connect with the humor because you're turning around situations that they have had happen to them all of the time and making something funny out of them.

No.2 - Know when not to tease

Playfully teasing a woman is a great way to show you’re not at all intimidated by her. It’s not about hurting a woman, making her feel bad or being abusive in any way. But, there are times when you shouldn’t tease, like when you’re getting physically intimate. Most people let their emotional guard down during the process of having sex, and it's probably not a good time to tease and bust on a woman. That's my two cents on the subject.

No.1 - Keep her once you get her

I think that too many guys make the mistake of assuming that it's all about getting the girl, and they put far too little emphasis on keeping a great girl once they find one. The fact is, until you're in a situation where you've found a great woman who you'd like to keep in your life, you won't realize just how important it is to know how  to keep her. Let’s say a woman you really like tells you she’s thinking about seeing an ex-boyfriend of hers. Instead of freaking out, tell her she has your blessing to check it out. Tests like this one can be a pain, but this is reality, and we have to deal with it when it shows up. I've been in many situations with women where I've felt like a jealous, insecure Wussbag myself -- I get it. If you’re prepared, you’ll pass the test and keep the girl you really want.

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