Sexual Body Language

Sexual Body Language

Sometimes it can be hard to tell what’s going on with your girl: Is she enjoying herself? Are you doing it right? Is she satisfied? Women can be hard to read, especially when it comes to sex. Though, all in all, if she is getting off you are bound to know about it on some level. If you’re not so sure and need some reassurance, check out her more subtle signs -- her sexual body language.

She will show you -- hopefully in no uncertain terms -- how you’re performing. Her body will display some overall signs of arousal that she can’t fake, but remember every woman is different. So, yes, it can often be just as difficult to get nonverbal feedback on your performance when there are so many variables. So, we've put together some general sexual body language signs that she's getting exactly what she wants from you.

Rapid breathing

Our breath when resting is a very peaceful and tranquil movement of air in and out of our lungs. It has the delightful title of "inspiration" for breathing in, and "expiration" for breathing out. When a woman is turned on, however, this breath comes in urgent puffs and probably has some involuntary moans escape with it as the air is forced quickly past her vocal cords. The increase in heart rate when her body prepares for orgasm means her internal organs and muscles are demanding more oxygen. If you can hear her breath change, you’re on the right track. If you can feel her heart thumping, you’re well on your way. This is her sexual body language giving you signals that she's aroused. However, if she's breathing normally after having her "big orgasm," perhaps she’s a big faker.

General writhing around and body movement

If your girl is curling her toes and writhing against you, chances are she's probably enjoying herself. Grinding and pushing against you means that she's really getting into it. If she's lying there limp, then things probably aren’t happening for her. Try changing positions, or stop entering her and warm her up from the beginning with your mouth or hands and see how her sexual body language progresses from there.

Thrusting hips

When she meets your thrusts, you’re doing something right. It's pretty safe to say that if she's matching your body movements and is in time with you, then she's getting something out of it. Good sex is often very synchronized, as that is how our bodies are designed to produce orgasm; repeated movements in the right spot build to a climaxing. The trouble is finding the right spot, of which there are many. If she isn’t meeting your thrusts then her sexual body language is telling you that she wants something else, so change positions and see how she responds.

Arms splayed out

If she's holding herself close she may not be feeling wild abandon -- her arms may be around you, her hands may be on your chest, above your head, wherever, except they're being held in close to her own body. If she's on top she may need her arms to maneuver herself and give herself some leverage to get the best angle. This is certainly not a definitive gesture, but can be useful. Her body should be responding to the situation at hand. She shouldn't be worried about covering herself up or where her arms are. If her arms are stretched wide, either held out to the side or splayed out on the bed sheets, you can bet her sexual body language is telling you you're right where you need to be and she's comfortable (and enjoying the ride). 

Vaginal muscle movement

You have one of your most sensitive parts inside one of her most sensitive parts -- with each movement inside of her you can feel the walls of her vagina, the muscles and flesh. The vaginal wall is an incredibly strong muscle and she will probably use this to some extent for her own pleasure during sex. You may also feel the contracting and relaxing during orgasm -- her vagina spasms and this will clench you to some degree -- but not always, so don’t use that as a benchmark. Some women do have great control, and those who do are likely to have better sex and orgasms in general. If you don’t feel any clenching, don’t panic. You may know already by the feel of her vagina when she's not far away from orgasm -- she may let you enter further, or the overall sensation may be "just right" for you both. Only you can tell, so pay careful attention to her sexual body language and what’s going on inside of her.

learn the language of lovin'

Women love sex as much as men do, but what's sometimes missing is the self-knowledge, and of course a skilled partner who brings out the erotic best in himself and her. If you're unsure as to whether your lover is enjoying herself during sex, there is a need for more investigation. Communicate verbally and non-verbally; ask her what she wants you to do, carefully watch and listen to her responses to what you’re doing and don’t assume that what worked for your other girlfriends is going to work for her. Every woman (and man) has different tastes and won’t necessarily respond to the same touches, so try a few different things and don’t stick to a routine. Experiment, tease, tantalize, change positions. When you hear her moan, you’ll know you've hit just the right spot, so don't stop there.


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Your Erotic Net Worth

Your Erotic Net Worth

Erotic capital, as described by sociologist Catherine Hakim of the London School of Economics in her 2010 paper on the subject, consists of a collection of attributes including physical fitness, good grooming, superior social skills, and sex appeal. When taken together, these qualities form a powerful personal asset. Of course, the more of each element of erotic capital you possess, the higher your overall erotic net worth. To date, however, this concept has largely been written about in relation to women, though men are equal proprietors of erotic capital.

We all know men with a high erotic net worth: George Clooney, Justin Timberlake, Anderson Cooper, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, and Jay-Z come to mind. Peter Griffin does not. What makes erotic capital a big deal is that the greater your erotic net worth, the more financial success you'll have and the more social and dating advantages will come your way. To figure out what your erotic net worth is and how you can increase it to your advantage, read on.

Sex appeal

You don't have to look like a movie star to have sex appeal. What you do need is the right body language, a healthy dose of confidence, a talent for flirting, and an amazing cologne. Whereas closed body language, typified by crossing your arms across your chest, keeping your hands in your pockets and slouching, gives off the impression that you are a defensive person; open body language shows that you're comfortable with yourself.

For men, facing others head-on with your spine erect, your head held high and your feet about a foot apart conveys a dominant, self-assured, in-control attitude, which is a huge turn-on for women. And because women are programmed to pay attention to smell when selecting a mate, you should also choose your fragrance wisely, doing your best to track down the juice that complements your natural body odor. Use humor to flirt and learn to read female body language -- if she looks at you, then looks away, then looks at you again, she's interested.

Social skills

Even if right now you feel extremely nervous in interpersonal interactions, it's possible to turn your social anxiety around and become the guy in the room that everyone gravitates toward. Men with a high erotic net worth are charming, persuasive, playful, witty, polite, and good conversationalists. To become adept at socializing, read voraciously and stay on top of current events as well as what's hot in film, television, business, and technology. If you’re crunched for time, seek out good all-purpose websites like the New York Times. At the same time, recognize that being the most interesting man at the party doesn't always involve dominating the conversation.

Making others feel at ease is often as simple as projecting a sense of calm and asking open-ended questions (those that don't involve simply a “yes” or “no” answer) to encourage others to talk. In fact, because most people love to talk about themselves, showing an interest in others and listening attentively with steady eye-contact will trick them into finding you fascinating even if you reveal relatively little about yourself. Also, don't take yourself too seriously, as the capacity to laugh at yourself and take life's mishaps in stride shows self-confidence, which is infinitely more appealing than being uptight.

Physical fitness

Having a high erotic net worth is practically synonymous with being in shape. A sexy body indicates virility and vigor, which in women's minds translates into stamina and dynamite sack sessions. What you're aiming for is a V-shaped physique, which you can achieve through a combination of weight lifting and cardio.

If you're presently overweight and finding it difficult to motivate yourself to hit the gym, consider that obese people earn 10% to 15% less than average-size people. The right clothes will also go a long way toward creating the illusion of a perfect body, so favor V-neck tops over crewnecks and single-breasted blazers over double-breasted toppers. Studies also suggest that taller men earn more, so give yourself a height advantage with shoes that have a half-inch heel.

Self-presentation

The way you dress and style your hair all have a major impact on the first impression you create. Sure, over time, many people might be able to get past greasy hair and tattered jeans to see the real you, but being negligent about your grooming routine and your wardrobe will cost you -- on the job in terms of salary (better-looking people earn more) and in the dating realm. To dress your best, know where to splurge and when to save. Develop a signature style by determining what colors and cuts are most flattering on you.

One thing incredibly stylish men have in common is the ability to wear trends without looking like fashion victims. Their secret is limiting themselves to one or two trend-driven pieces per outfit and ensuring that the rest of what they're wearing is classic. When it comes to your hair, get it trimmed every four weeks, use the right kind of shampoo and conditioner for your hair type and avoid working too much product, like gel, into your mane. Be diligent about keeping your facial hair in check and whiten your teeth every six months.

Lastly, pay attention to your hands. No, you don't need to get a manicure, but to women, having rough dinosaur skin running over our bodies is akin to getting sandblasted, so slather on some hand lotion every now and again.

Sexual competence

While possessing the previously mentioned elements of erotic capital will certainly increase your chances of finding yourself between the sheets with a potential mate, poor performance in this department will send your erotic stock plummeting. Fortunately, sexual skills are learned rather than innate, so, start reading books and articles on the topic to improve your bedroom know-how. Focus on finding ways to increase your sexual stamina, such as tantric practices and Kegel exercises.

Equally important in enhancing your sexual competence is figuring out the fine points involved in giving great oral sex and committing to the time involved -- it takes most women around 20 minutes to achieve orgasm on average and a mind-blowing finish will immediately secure you a top spot on her list of lovers. Bonus points for asking about her fantasies and then making them come true.

Finally, devote energy to enhancing your erotic imagination by relentlessly searching for creative ways to switch things up and keep your sex life spicy. Also, even if she doesn't seem like a girly girl, all women go gaga for a little romance, so don't be shy in this area either.

maximize your erotic net worth

By now the value of erotic capital should be clear. You hopefully also have an idea of where you might be falling short and have learned concrete ways in which you can send your erotic net worth soaring. Of these five attributes, some will require more determination than others to develop, but as studies show, you'll be mightily rewarded for your efforts.


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