Icebreakers...

Icebreakers...

Today I received the following question via e-mail:

"I was wondering if you can suggest some icebreakers or opening lines to initiate conversations with? You know, something comfortable that girls will smile at and want to keep the conversation going instead of us constantly talking." 

 

 

Breaking that ice like a pro

Now, this is a pretty good -- and important -- question. And my answer is: This all depends on where you find yourself and what you see the girl doing.

Sorry if you were looking for a guaranteed line that works in every situation with every woman, but the real truth is this:

Knowing what to say to a woman is utterly and totally dependent on what you can observe about that woman. It's not so much a matter of what to say.

No, the real secret of opening women up is knowing what to observe, knowing what to notice and knowing what to get curious about.

Now, this is good news. Especially good news for those of us who aren't flashy conversationalists, super bold or super witty.

Why?

Because it's your curiosity and what you observe about her, uniquely, that will provide exactly what you need to say.

Apply these techniques everywhere

The other issue is context: Where are you meeting her and who else is around?

You see, the approach to opening her up might differ a bit if she is at a coffee house, quietly studying, as opposed to in a loud restaurant or party, right? Why?

Because the context she is in and what you notice about her are going to be different.

If she's studying and you notice that she's having a hard time (she's talking to herself out loud or just seems to be thinking out loud in her head), it would not make sense to walk up and ask her opinion about the great band that is playing or where she bought her cool bicycle.

So, I will say it again.

The most important thing, first and foremost, is not what you say, but the context she is in, and what you can observe about her and the setting she is in.

A word on compliments

Now, many guys ask me about compliments. Should I give them? Is it a good way to first "open up" talking to a woman? If so, what should I compliment?

Okay. I'll repeat: It depends on the context, where she is, what she is doing, and what you notice and can observe.

Now, let's say I notice something about her that I do find worth complimenting. My rules for complimenting are as follows:

Check out the two big rules on giving compliments:

1. No sexual content in the compliments. That means I don't compliment her on her great breasts, great legs or great butt. No woman (read: no halfway sane woman) wants a drooling lecher.

2. All compliments are to be delivered with good eye contact (in fact, any openers are delivered this way), with a smile on my face and in my eyes (I sort of make them twinkle a bit), and delivered with a "matter-of-fact" voice tone.

This means I don't overdo it with my tone of voice. The compliment is delivered as a matter of fact, with no concern on my part about whether she will accept it, reject it or anything in between.

By being "matter of fact" and okay with it, no matter how she first responds, I'm sending an unspoken and also very attractive message about how I feel about myself and how I move through the world; that I take responsibility for how I am going to feel about myself, my situation and the events and people in my world.

Now, trust me. When you come from that place, and add in a touch of humor....

... Almost anything you say will get a good response.

Okay. Back to compliments then. Generally speaking, I will limit my compliments to:

1. How they carry themselves or how they move. I enjoy a woman who moves beautifully or who has great posture. I will tell them so, as follows: "I just wanted to tell you... I think you have perfect... posture. You just carry yourself beautifully."

2. How they are dressed. I like to compliment on style. So I will say: "I just wanted to tell you... I admire women with class and style, so I had to say 'Hi.'"

A little note here: This is what I call the "implied" compliment. Notice I didn't directly say I thought she had class and style. I said I admire women who have it. That means she has to actively interpret it as applying to her, using her own imagination.

Remember the No. 1 rule in Speed Seduction: Always use your language to capture and lead a woman's imagination, and her emotions (and desire!) will follow.

3. I will compliment them on their "energy." I know this is a New Age, California kind of thing, but women are into "energy" and "vibes." It doesn't matter if you believe in it or not -- although I hope one day you will.

The important thing is, most women believe in it.

So if I notice that a woman has a calm, radiant, happy demeanor, I will say: "I just wanted to tell you... I think you have a beautiful energy about you, and it just made me have to say 'Hi.' I'm..."

I could go on about this, but remember the most important things: What you can observe about her and what you can get curious about will always supply you with the best things to say, far more than any canned line. And how you deliver what you say sends a supremely powerful message about how you feel about yourself, which in turn supercharges the actual power of the words. 

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Convince Her To Have A Threesome

Convince Her To Have A Threesome

Today's tip is for those couples that are willing to try new things and are very secure within their relationships. A threesome, if done correctly, can provide couples with a creative new way to explore their inner carnal desires.

So, you'd like to coax your woman into getting naughty and nasty with a third party? It could be an extremely difficult goal to attain. However, if your woman is very open-minded and sexually explicit, initiating a threesome can be a very simple task.

Threesomes aren't for everyone

First off, if your significant other isn't a very sexually open-minded individual, then it's quite unlikely that she'll be bringing another woman home any time soon. For instance, if she doesn't accept you ejaculating in her face, swallowing, or worse yet, giving fellatio altogether, then we suggest that you don't even bother suggesting the idea of a threesome.

If you do broach the topic and she's less than enthusiastic about the idea, then it's likely that you'll end up having your own little threesome for some time to come -- you and both of your hands. After all, if she refuses to let in you in anally, why in the world would she accept another woman in the boudoir?

Sorry guys, but some women will simply refuse to get involved in a situation that they believe is a potential threat to their relationship. If you know your girl well, then you can probably predict whether or not she'd be delighted with the idea of licking another woman's privates, or better yet, watching another woman lick yours.

Double your pleasure

For the rest of you who are pretty sure that your women will be keen on the idea of bringing another sexy vixen into the bedroom, here's the lowdown on how to bring up the idea.

Before anything, remember that you shouldn't act overenthusiastic, otherwise your girl might feel like this is your way of saying, "I want to cheat on you -- with your permission, of course." No matter how you bring it up, make sure that your girl knows that she is what matters most.

Gradually begin discussing sex and sexual fantasies. Put your fantasies out on display so that she can get an idea of what you like. When you begin discussing the date for three, don't say something like: "I've always wanted to bang two chicks at the same time!" You should know what to say and the repercussions of being part of a threesome.

Load the lesbian lingo

Instead say something like: "I would love to see you kissing another woman." This will flatter her and she won't feel threatened or as though you're dying to get into another woman's pants. This way, you get the bonus of joining in at some point once they're into it. If she's open to the whole "lesbian experience", then she'll concentrate more on the excitement of being with another woman, rather than "my man wants to have sex with another woman."

Your objective here is to make her understand that you do not want another woman (even though that's probably the furthest thing from the truth), you simply want the experience of two women.

Now, if you're lucky enough to have the opportunity to set something like this up, she obviously has to be the decision-maker on who the other woman will be.

Oh, and a word of advice for the oblivious at heart: Don't, we repeat don't push for someone considerably more attractive than your woman. She will only feel insecure and renege on the whole idea and once again, you'll be left with the "hairy palms" ordeal.

Three may be a crowd

The following are the potential repercussions that may come with engaging in a threesome:

• You're left out: It's possible that the two women may be getting off on each other so intensely that they'll forget you're even in the room. Believe us, it happens more often than you think.
• You lose respect for her: After the experience, it's possible that she may move from being the "girl I'm going to marry" to the "party girl." There are chauvinists amongst us and when we see a girl doing questionable things sexually, we habitually judge and condemn them for it. Blame it on years of evolution, or a lack thereof.
• She plays for the other team -- permanently: Some women are into the whole aspect of being with another woman, but sometimes the woman may decide that she actually prefers the bush rather than the snake.
• She becomes extremely jealous: Depending on how things go, your woman can become very jealous because you either paid too much attention to the other woman or the other woman paid too much attention to you.
• You become extremely jealous: Because you may get left out of the entire tryst altogether, you may become jealous due to the fact that you were neglected.
• Your relationship disintegrates: It's possible that you or she will realize that perhaps there's someone out there who is better suited to your needs -- at least sexually speaking.

Well, there you have it: a nice and easy way of attaining what you want through cunning means. Remember that there may be some serious repercussions following the ordeal so make certain that this is what you really want.

Until next time, remind your woman that all good things come in threes!

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