Dictionary of Men’s Sayings

Dictionary of Men’s Sayings

“I’M GOING FISHING.”
“I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a lake with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“IT’S A GUY THING.”
“There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR.”
Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN.”
“I have no idea how it works or what I’m trying to explain.”

“WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE.”
“Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
“Are you still talking?”

“IT’S A REALLY GOOD MOVIE.”
“It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women.”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
“I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle identification Numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.”
“The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”
“I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt.”

“HEY I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”
“And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
“It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
“What did you catch me at? Which time?”

“I HEARD YOU.”
“I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”

“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
“I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”

“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
“Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving.”

“I’M NOT LOST I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
“No one will ever see us alive again.”