Get The Carefree Girl Back

Get The Carefree Girl Back

When you first started dating, your priorities were getting to know each other, having fun and being romantic. But once you drifted out of the honeymoon orbit and reentered the real world, chances are you found that your daily routine, with all its work, house chores and other responsibilities, took over. It’s no wonder that you somehow lost your carefree, fun-loving girlfriend in the process. But here’s how to get her -- as well as the fun spirit of your relationship -- back for a sequel.

Provide a secure environment

One of the real fun suckers in any relationship is unnecessary stress. This can be due to insecurities or jealousies, which usually boil down to one person not feeling confident in the relationship. Many women feel that they can’t enjoy a committed relationship unless it’s towering with stability, so what’s vital is that you zap those silly stressors by being open and honest with each other. If she feels secure in the relationship, she will let her guard down. That will translate into both of you having more fun.

Get away from each other

Of course, when you first started dating all you wanted was to spend time cocooned together. But life has to go on and now you probably find that, between work and all your other activities, you don't get to spend as much time with each other as you used to. Although your immediate reaction to this realization could be to cram in more time together, don’t let yourselves become glued together at the hip because that’s a surefire way to smother the flame.

To keep it burning for longer, it helps to spend time away from her. Hang out with your friends and let her have time with hers, too. This time apart is important because always being in each other’s space, especially if you live together, can lead to something fun becoming boring. What you want to do is make the time you do spend with your girlfriend as special as possible.

Do something fun every week

Organize a weekly date night and schedule it into your planner so that you make it as important as a business meeting. Note: Spending time together by default (for instance, doing household chores) doesn’t count as quality time.

Make your dates more inventive than the usual dinner and a movie, so that you look forward to them as much as you did at the start of your relationship. Think bonfires on the beach, trips to the zoo, a wine-tasting excursion, or a picnic in your living room. You could also think up some fun activities or hobbies to pursue together, such as trying out a new sport. These will be great bonding experiences and both of you will anticipate the weekly adventure. Having fun in your relationship keeps it alive.

Go on vacation

Research from the Netherlands found that simply planning a vacation causes a big boost in levels of happiness. The study was published in the Journal of Applied Research in Quality of Life and surveyed happiness levels among over 1530 Dutch adults, 974 of whom went on a holiday during the 32-week study period. The results found that anticipating a vacation led to happiness. So just planning a holiday can bring some excitement to your relationship. Getting away from the routine of daily life is great because you can spend time doing what you love and enjoy quality time without interruptions. There are no stressful family or career issues causing you to miss out on the fun you can have in a fresh environment.

But don’t let the fun stop when you return home. Try to incorporate that carefree feeling into your real life in small ways. For instance, if you enjoyed taking time daily to chat over a glass of wine, try to do that in evenings; likewise, if you both felt rejuvenated at trying new activities during your holiday, consider taking up some classes where you can learn something new together.

bottom line

Getting your carefree girlfriend back is not about trying to change your girlfriend or backtrack to the honeymoon phase (which isn’t built to last, by the way). Instead, it’s about trying to keep the relationship as enjoyable and exciting as possible, instead of letting yourselves fall into a rut.

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Things That Scare Her In Bed

Things That Scare Her In Bed

Sex can be an intimidating experience for a variety of reasons, but there are some things that can happen in bed that are likely to truly scare your partner. In order to avoid freaking her out, keep a few guidelines in mind when it comes to weird, unexpected or downright frightening acts like these.

New territory

The first thing that could scare a woman in bed is asking her to do something that she’s never done before. Depending on how confident she is, a request for something she has no previous experience with may have her shaking in her boots (or stilettos, as the case may be). Before you spring a new idea on her, get a feel for her knowledge and comfort level on the subject. A simple: “Have you tried (insert intimidating sexual act here) before?” can go a long way to not scaring her before you get started.

Choking her

Wrapping your hands around her neck and giving it a little squeeze might be perfectly OK if she's been warned ahead of time that it’s something that turns you on, or certainly if she is the one that requested it. However, choking her out of the blue during sex is a surefire way to scare her in bed. Many people genuinely enjoy rough sex, violent role-playing and even some real pain, but if you haven’t discussed your predilections with your sexual partner well in advance of getting into bed with her, you must not spring something like this on her while getting it on.

Unexpected anal play

Some women are turned on by the idea of anal stimulation, while others find it disgusting. Before you know which kind of woman the one you’re in bed with is, do not go anywhere near her ass. Unexpected anal penetration is pretty much guaranteed to scare her in bed. Even getting too close to the general area with your fingers, your tongue or a toy can be enough to freak out some women. Get an idea of her views on the act before you try anything anal.

Extreme sex props

Battery-powered sex toys and handcuffs may be a normal part of your sex life, but if you’re with a new partner who hasn’t yet checked out your toy box, don’t whip these things out while you’re in bed with her. Most women would be able to handle a simple vibrator or maybe a blindfold, but if your idea of fun props includes shackles, ropes, whips, and textured butt plugs, you may want to ease her into the idea before you bring out all your toys. If you’re up to the level of prostate milking sticks, Electotorture or speculums, keep this stuff well hidden until you know for sure that she’s cool with your fetishes.

Psycho dirty talk

Most of us can appreciate a little dirty talk in the bedroom. In the heat of the moment, all kinds of things can come out of your mouth if you’re not careful. The downside of this is that actions aren’t the only things that can scare her in bed; your words can do the job just as well. Maybe you started off by whispering a fantasy in her ear, but once your voice takes on a serial killer-like intensity and you start getting into too much psycho detail, your little story takes a dark turn and she makes up some excuse about having to wash her hair or get up early in the morning. Keep these demented little tales to yourself if you want to avoid scaring her in bed.

scary sex

Naturally, what scares one woman in bed might make another woman all hot and bothered, so you never can tell how she’s going to react to a certain kink, fetish or unusual practice -- until you ask her, of course. The kinds of women who are into these things probably aren’t going to shy away from talking about them. On the other hand, if you bring it up and she bolts, it’s better that you find out early on that you’re sexually incompatible.

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Side Effects of Masturbation

Side Effects of Masturbation

My penis is mad at me. How could I write an article on the negative side effects of masturbation? He thinks I’m a traitor and switched teams. I hope he doesn’t take it out on me and be a passive-aggressive limp noodle for my next sexcapade. 

But how much do we really know about masturbation and its side effects? Sure, we know masturbation feels good -- that’s a gimme. But what else can it do to us? Playing with ourselves can help us fall asleep, reduces headaches and stress, anxiety and tension, it’s great for immune functioning, increasing endorphin production, and is so good for our prostates. But is there anything else we should be looking out for besides Kim Kardashian’s next Carl’s Jr. commercial?

 

 

 

The negative side effects of masturbation your parents believed

There’s a lot of history behind the negative side effects of masturbation. Since man could grab his pecker and stroke it, people have been coming up with myths that it’s bad for you. Will masturbating cause acne? If it did, 95% of guys would be walking around with a face full of zits. Masturbation must cause sterility right? While it’s true having consecutive ejaculations will reduce your sperm count and the volume of semen compared to the first ejaculation, your testes are a factory for sperm production and masturbation isn’t going to close this factory down. Does masturbation cause hairy palms? I don’t even understand this one; is semen miracle grow? The same can be said for blindness, insanity and a whole host of other myths that have been proved false by medical science.

So there has to be some negatives right? Masturbation itself is harmless and there are no proved long-term physical issues with moderate masturbation habits. However, we can all experience some side effects, whether they are short-term, long-term or related to chronic masturbation habits.

Touching breeds unwanted familiarity

One side effect of masturbation is subsequent ejaculations will take longer. If you masturbate a few times before a date and, hopefully, proceed to have sex, you’ll probably find more difficulty reaching climax. Thankfully, giving our penis a day or two to recharge should do the trick. In addition, we each know the secrets to getting ourselves off. Masturbating can sometimes create an individual orgasm effect where we train our bodies to respond to our own familiar touch and have a reduced response to other people’s touch, resulting in a tougher time reaching climax with others. A lot of guys can relate to this.

Our hard-ons may also be affected by masturbation as well. After each ejaculation, you’ll notice the firmness of the next erection may get slightly softer and spongier, depending on how close apart the erections are. There’s little evidence that too many erections or masturbation will have an effect on your erection in the future. There’s a wealth of evidence that points to age, diet, smoking, and cardiovascular health as factors that affect your beat-meat getting stiff. Another side effect of masturbation is abrasions or swelling of the penis. Some people have rough hands, calluses, use vigorous strokes, or don’t use lube. Ouch!

Masturbation and guilt

Masturbation can also have a negative psychological impact on a person. Many people feel shame and guilt because of their masturbation habits. Whether it’s a cultural, religious or moral issue, people can be very hard on themselves. The tug of war between what feels natural and pleasurable versus what they were told to refrain from can have lasting harmful effects on a person’s self-esteem, confidence and self-love. Psychosomatic effects can also occur, where physical symptoms are the result of psychological factors (feeling shame, guilt, anxiety can manifest into things like headaches, back pain, chronic pain, etc).

The problems with chronic masturbation

Biologically, chronic masturbating can affect our brain and body chemistry because it can overproduce sex hormones and neurotransmitters. This overproduction impacts each person differently, and can range from fatigue, pelvic pain, vision changes, lower back pain, testicular pain, or hair loss. There is current research that states increased testosterone production is linked to DHT production, which is associated with male pattern hair loss.

However, we have to be careful of the conclusions we extrapolate from research. I still need more evidence to believe hair loss because correlation doesn’t imply causation. Did you know large consumptions of alcohol reduce testosterone production? So does this imply that drinking booze will reduce my testosterone levels, subsequently DHT levels, and stop my hair from falling out? Doubtful -- I’d just be bald and drunk. If you notice any of these effects, try cutting back on your masturbation habits for a few months and see if it helps alleviate your symptoms. If the symptoms are still there, you might as well keep tugging away and see a doctor for a medical checkup.

Compulsive masturbation can also negatively affect a person. What’s compulsive masturbating? There’s no set number of times; it’s associated with a person having difficulties in his life resulting from his masturbation habits. One guy masturbates six times a day and feels productive and great while the other feels the exact opposite. Compulsive masturbation can negatively affect your work, relationships, self-esteem, finances, social support, and have legal problems if you’re not able to find a balance between being responsible in life and satisfying your pleasures and desires.

Where do you get off?

I hope I didn’t turn you off from masturbating. It’s a wonderful thing and one of the greatest gifts you can offer yourself. There are positives and negatives to everything in life: sex, singlehood, driving a car, being in a relationship, and working. We have to make sure the good outweighs the bad to find happiness. World Orgasm day is December 21st, you better get practicing.

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Dating Coworkers : Pros and Cons

Dating Coworkers : Pros and Cons

Young professionals often spend more time at the office than at home. As a result, there are a lot of single men and women who don't have the time to meet new people. Naturally, they seek their potential partners within their surrounding environment -- the office.

Single people feel that work is a natural place to meet new people. After all, you spend at least 40 hours a week there, with individuals of similar backgrounds and interests. Relationships with coworkers can be especially tempting because hard work doesn't leave much time for socializing.

 

 

Office Romance - The Good

There are many issues -- both positive and negative -- to consider before engaging in office romances. One of the positive aspects is time efficiency, since you no longer need to search for a significant other in the evening. Why look around for potential dates when you have an office full of beautiful women? You save both time and money.

A second advantage to dating someone in the workplace is that since you spend so many hours together at work, you already have an idea of what she's like. This can save you from lots of headaches down the road.

A final advantage, besides the sex, is that you can carpool. Not only do you get to spend the night together, you also save on gas. Wow, what are the chances that you could date women who would save you gas money?

Office Romance - The Bad

Office romances also have their drawbacks. For example, no matter how well the relationship is going, the situation itself is a recipe for disaster. The fact that couples are in constant contact with one another day and night may cause friction within the relationship. Everyone needs "alone time" to pursue hobbies or hang out with friends, and the lack thereof may cause relationships to self-destruct.

Office romances may interfere with individuals' abilities to perform their professional duties. Imagine telling your girlfriend that she's fired. There is obvious potential for conflicts of interest between office situations and relationships. Be sure to avoid accusations of favoritism, which may harm the morale of colleagues.

Jealousy is another negative issue. Because you must usually keep office relationships a secret, other employees may flirt with your partner or vice-versa. You have to keep in mind that this type of flirting is common and happens all the time in the workplace. So keep cool or the cat's out of the bag.

Office Romance - The Ugly

Before beginning a relationship, consider its potential outcomes. If things don't work out, will your work life become awkward? Prepare yourself for the unwanted situations that might follow. In order to be prepared, evaluate who's date-worthy, their position and the consequences of a breakup:

Dating colleagues: Rivalry and competition may harm the relationship. Uncomfortable situations may arise after the breakup when career advancement issues come into play.

Dating subordinates: False accusations of favoritism may arise, as well as accusations of sexual harassment after the breakup.

Dating bosses: False accusations of favoritism may arise. You may get fired after the breakup.

Guidelines for Success

Always remember; while inter-office dating is not necessarily illegal, many companies have policies against it. The tricky part regarding such policies is what defines dating. Most companies encourage friendships, so where's the line between friendship and dating? If you start dating someone in the office, who can you tell? Should you try to keep it a secret? What if someone finds out? Would it have been better if you had been honest with your coworkers from the get-go?

Here are a few preventative guidelines to help develop a successful office romance without falling into any pitfalls or lawsuits.

• Adhere to the "one year" rule by only gradually letting a workplace or business acquaintance become a friend. Even then, try to keep it a casual friendship.
• Be careful if you are new at a job or in an extraordinary situation (like a trade show or a conference) and someone seems overly friendly, prying into the intimate details of your personal life.
• Test your business friend with "low risk" trust tests, to see how reliable they are. Is something you shared repeated to others? Are you discovering references from private conversations being mentioned in staff meetings? Does the new friendship seem equal and reciprocal or one-sided?
• You can be friendly in the workplace without jeopardizing your career; you don't have to reveal your family secrets to make friends.

Things You Should Never Say

• Anything you would not want repeated on the evening news or read about in a newspaper.
• The sexual prowess of your romantic partner as well as any former sexual liaisons.
• Business topics that are unethical or indiscreet.
• Bad-mouthing, or anything disparaging about clients
  

E-mail communications present a new challenge to discretion in business relationships. There is something about e-mail that makes men and women let down their guards, so before hitting the send button on your computer, reread your message and make sure that it is appropriate for a business environment.

Workplace Flings

Office romances can be fun, and successful -- a growing number of newlyweds are coworkers. They should take the proper steps, however, to ensure that the relationship will last without interfering in the workplace. Finally, they should also consider the consequences of breaking up with a colleague before beginning the relationship.

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Player "No-No's"

Player "No-No's"

Although it would be unfair to say all Players are essentially the same in terms of traits and personality, anybody who labels himself a “ladies' man” holds firm to a base set of ideals. Hence, there are certain words that aren’t part of the Player’s vocabulary, and certain sayings that will never escape his lips. If you’re a woman and you’re asking yourself, “How can I spot a ‘Player'?" then you simply need to listen for the following statements; if you ever hear any of them, your guy doesn’t qualify.

A successful pickup artist is typically endowed with the gift of gab, but thanks to time and experience, he carefully selects what chitchat he makes. To the receptive girl, it always sounds smooth and casual -- never forced and never strained, and it will lead most any woman to relax in mere minutes. In short, Players are master conversationalists but they’re also experts at controlling their own fate. Always remember: Players would never say anything to compromise those aforementioned ideals.

THE TOP 5

“I love you”

It’s a predictable No. 1, but all the critical women out there should realize that avoiding this heartfelt statement saves you a great deal of stress and pain. As the Player has no enemies -- male or female -- and he frowns on manipulation and deception, he isn’t about to toy with a woman’s heart just to satisfy his base desires. At no point will a true ladies' man say: “I love you.” While it does indeed stem from a dislike of commitment, these three little words only lead to trouble. A Player will spare you that. There may come a day when a pickup artist does say those words every woman has wanted to hear since playing “wedding dress-up” as a little girl, but if so, that means two things: 1) He means it; and 2) He has voluntarily turned in his Player license. Only the cruel and evil say “I love you” to get what they want, and then go on their merry way.

“I don’t care -- whatever you want to do”

At no point is a Player disinterested in his partner’s hobbies and activities, and at no point does he relinquish all control of the situation. There’s a reason why you typically only hear this statement from married or committed men; men who have already accepted their fate and have lost all interest in the proceedings. The ladies' man is always interested in hearing a woman’s suggestions for plans and he’s never a doormat, as he understands the ceaseless female desire for avid communication. No man who claims to be successful in the playing field says, “I don’t care” very often, as it typically halts a discussion prematurely and signifies an apathetic approach to the relationship dynamic -- and possibly even a weak personality. Besides, “whatever you want to do” could mean just about anything, and no Player leaves so much to chance.

“This is way too expensive”

He may think it, but he’d never say it. Having money certainly isn’t a prerequisite for all aspiring Players (although it helps), but one should never flaunt his lack of funds. Even if he has plenty of cash in the bank, the pickup artist will still avoid this all-too-common exclamation as it includes far too many negative implications. Even if she’s aware the man has money, she’ll assume he’s cheap, or if she’s the high-maintenance type, she’ll probably disappear before he can turn around twice. If the ladies' man has no intention of springing for an expensive dinner or purchasing an expensive coat for his girl, he’ll deftly avoid the subject and steer the conversation in another direction. If you ever see a guy sit back in his chair after dinner and start whining about the bill, he ain’t no Player.

“Wanna f*ck?”

Despite popular opinion among feminists, the Player exhibits a certain amount of class and sophistication at all times. Not only is this ridiculous question crass and adolescent in nature, it also shows nothing in the way of tact and good breeding -- both of which are required traits for any legitimate ladies' man. On top of which, the observational and social talent of the Player allows him to accurately assess the situation; if she’s ready to go, he knows it. The transition from discussion to sex should be seamless and even wordless. At the same time, there’s no reason for any Player to ever ask for permission -- i.e., “May I kiss you now?” -- because it too is unnecessary. Some women may view the latter question as “sensitive” or “respectful,” but in reality it only shows a lack of confidence and understanding. The man in question is skilled in the art of seduction; such questions are beneath him.

“Sorry, I don’t have a condom”

Yeah, right. The Player who hits the night scene without a condom isn’t a Player at all. Some will immediately call this a misplaced sense of bravado or cockiness rather than confidence, but the truth of the matter is simple: A ladies' man can snag a lady at any given time. It doesn’t always happen in the standard, traditional locations; it could happen in an elevator, a parked car or a restaurant bathroom. Who knows? The point is, a Player is always prepared, and furthermore, he’s always safe. The lifestyle is appealing and exciting in a variety of different ways, but it can also be dangerous, and the responsible lover never says: “Nah, just forget the condom this one time!” He knows that “one time” could be his Waterloo, and because he ultimately respects every woman in the bedroom, he wouldn’t risk her well-being either.

Player Banter

If you ever hear a man say any of these five things, you can toss the “Player” label right out the window. Even the best of us slip up at times, but believe it or not, the pickup artist abides by a very strict set of rules that isn’t negotiable. The world of the Player is far more meticulous and carefully crafted than it is vibrantly chaotic.

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Single Parents : Dating Do's & Dont's

Single Parents : Dating Do's & Dont's

 

Congratulations! You, the Renaissance single father, met a fabulous single mom. The coffee date -- with all that smiling and laughing at each other’s jokes -- was a supreme success. Then you went to a movie together and were turned on by the fact that you both like extra butter on your popcorn. Finally, you both took the giant risk of chewing food together over a dazzling new white tablecloth and she loved the way you took control of the wine list.

As you are two single parents who know a lot about how to make the most of your time, your date immediately accepted your invitation to “come visit” after dinner. You didn’t even have to come up with a reason, such as, “I have this great collection of African masks.” As a single parent you’ve learned the value of getting right to the point and, as such, you had no problem with simply being honest and asking her if she’d like to come in. She accepted your straight-forward invitation -- the ultimate turn-on for a woman is honesty -- and now you know that you’re going to have sex.

Just as the single-parent lifestyle is different from the regular singles lifestyle, so are the dos and don’ts of single-parent sex.

Here is my list of recommendations.

Don’t: Assume she’s a desperate single mom.

Do: Assume she needs you to go slowly.

Women are better at certain things than men are, and turning off the “sex tap” is one of them. I’ve heard of women who have turned this tap off not for months, but for years. The last thing she wants is for you to come on like gangbusters and not consider that she might need to start slowly. Just because she agreed to have sex with you doesn’t mean she agreed to rush it.

You have everything to gain by being patient and letting her take the lead. You have everything to lose by showing her from the get-go that you’re not tuned into her body rhythm and that you don’t care about her feelings.

Don’t: Assume she wants to hear about your ex.

Do: Assume she wants to be the only woman in your mind.

Even though you both have exes, the bedroom is no place to discuss past angst. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you will turn her on by mentioning your ex in a less-than-positive light. She only wants to know that, at that moment, in your bed, you only have one woman on your mind -- her! In fact, she wants to feel like she’s the first woman to ever be in your bed. Get it?

Don’t: Assume you need to be a great experimental lover.

Do: Assume that it’s back to basics.

Oh, aren’t you the fancy-schmancy lover boy? And so progressive too! You know all about the best vibrators on the market -- the ones that guarantee you’ll hit her G-spot -- and you’re totally up to speed on the newest warming gels that make winter lovemaking more comfortable. OK, I give you credit: Toys can be a great addition to your sex menu for many reasons, including the fact that sometimes it’s just fine for a vibrator to give you an extra hand.

What should you do if you’re interrupted by the kids and how should you handle contraception?

But don’t assume that your single-mom lover wants to get fancy from the get-go. Again, get a sense of where she’s coming from. Do you have the basics down pat? Have you kissed a lot? Are you able to tell each other what you like? And have you actually become friends? Toys require trust -- and you know darn well that you need to be friends before you can trust.

Don’t: Assume your sex won’t be “intercourse interruptus.”

Do: Assume that the children -- hers or yours -- come first.

You’re in the middle of getting some great oral sex. She likes you so much that she has really been taking her time with you and you’re almost there -- so close. But then Murphy’s Sex Law kicks in: Her cell phone, which she discreetly placed on your night table, rings. Your lover doesn’t hesitate to answer. Your penis is now fluttering in the wind, not at half-mast, but at no mast! Why? It’s the babysitter. Your lover’s son cut his finger and needs to go to the emergency room for a stitch or two. So what do you do? Do you show a nanosecond of angst or disappointment? Not on your life, my friend. Instead, you say, “Baby, that’s OK, I understand. Your son always comes first. I completely understand.”

Aside from the fact that it’s the right thing to say, there will be a huge payoff next time around. It’s likely to go something like this: “Now where were we? Oh yes, I remember now. I guess I’ll just have to make up for last time.” She’ll make your mast one that Russell Crowe in Master and Commander would be proud of.

Don’t: Assume she wants to be a single mom again.

Do: Assume you should have condoms.

I don’t think I need to explain anything here. I will, however, add this: It never hurts to have a medical document in your drawer that shows that your recent STD tests are immaculate. She’ll feel much more relaxed about what’s coming next and love you for being so responsible.

Don’t: Assume that single-parent sex needs to be serious.

Do: Assume that it can be a lot of fun and playful.

There’s something unique about the relationship that a single parent has with their child. It’s so focused and one-on-one simply because you’re often their only home-based playmate. The positive aspect of this is that your child has taught you one of life’s most important lessons: Life should be fun and it should be about “playing.” How many times have you asked your child, “What did you do today?” only to hear that one-word reply, ”Play.” Take their lesson to heart. As a single parent you know how important it is to play, so play with your sex life and have fun!

Get back in the game

Sex as a single parent can be stressful at first, but you'll get back into the swing of things in no time. Just remember to relax and enjoy yourself.

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What to Buy Women

What to Buy Women

My friend told me the worst ever first Christmas present she received from a new boyfriend was a black umbrella and a pair of socks. DO NOT repeat this pattern! These gifts represent a lack of imagination and have no 'sex' appeal.

Presents for women need to be sexy.

This does not mean that you go out and buy her a black crotchless thong either! That is another no no!




Predictable gifts

Flowers and chocolates. NOW these are perfect in-between events gifts. In other words DO NOT buy at birthdays and Christmas unless they merely accompany something more exciting. But YOU MUST buy them randomly throughout the year and always on anniversaries. The anniversary of the day you got married, bought the dog, conceived the kids, bought the house, built the pond, met her mother...you get the picture.

Thoughtful gifts

What has your woman being talking about recently or for the past few months leading up to her birthday? If it happens to be something that can be 'sexy' like a Designer handbag/shoes/nightwear, go for it. If it happens to be a bread maker do not buy this as a gift, but buy it anyway.

Ok, quick summary

Nothing too unsexy
Nothing overly sexy
No chocolates and flowers unless accompanying other more fabulous gift(s)
Flowers and chocolates the rest of the year for non-events
Buy what your woman has said she wants - only if it's sexy
Buy her what she wants anyway but not as a gift

It's easy when you know how ;-)

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Get a Woman's Phone # in 3 Minutes

Get a Woman's Phone # in 3 Minutes

How To Get A Woman's Phone Number And Email Address Within Three Minutes Of Meeting Her

Let me start off by telling you something interesting:

I've personally stopped focusing on just getting phone numbers. I've found that EMAIL addresses are far better (I still get the phone number too, of course).

Let me explain.

I perfected the art of getting phone numbers a couple of years ago.

If a woman is single, I can walk up to her and get her number in about a minute or two (if I'm in a hurry). I found out later, after working like a mad scientist on this that GETTING PHONE NUMBERS ALONE DOESN'T EQUAL SUCCESS.

 

You see, women have many different reasons for giving out their phone numbers. Some love the attention of having a lot of men call them. Some like to turn guys down. Some are actually interested. But the universal feedback that I get from men, and in my personal experience, women act different on the phone than they do in person.

When you call a woman for the first time, she'll often start acting stand-offish or even worse, just plain rude. It's almost like she's a different person than the one you met.

I've found that getting an EMAIL address is not only easier, but it gets more positive responses later on. It's almost as if women appreciate it that you've taken the time to think about what you're going to say when you write an email to them, and they think of you more like someone they know.

The other benefit of email is that it can be written and answered anytime.

If you call, you have to actually reach them. But an email can be answered anytime. And I've found that emails are answered FAR more often than voicemail messages.

HERE'S THE HOW TO:

After I've talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes, I'll often say something like "Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm going to get back to my friends."

They usually don't know what to do, as they're used to guys clinging to them. Most of the time, they say "It was nice meeting you too..." Then, just as I'm turning to walk away, and we kind of disconnect, I turn back and say "HEY! Do you have email?"

The "HEY!" is a bit surprising, and "Do you have email" is non-threatening. In fact, I'm technically asking her if she HAS email, not if she'll GIVE IT TO ME.

If she says "yes," I take out a pen and paper and say "Great, write it down for me" and I have her write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the 'yes' that they give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they've almost ALL gone along with it so far) Then AS SHE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING, I say "Write your number down there too."

When you ask for email, it's very low risk for a woman, so she'll think "Fine, I'll do that." Most women will give out an email address without thinking about it, because they know that they can choose later to just not answer.

The magic of asking them to write their phone number down WHILE they're in the middle of writing down their email is all about the psychology of human behavior.

She's already mentally said "OK, I'll give you my email address"... and she's in the middle of writing it down. When you say "And just write your number down there too" it's only NATURAL to just write it.

In other words, it's a MUCH smaller step than giving out the phone number all by itself. It took me a LONG time to figure out this simple move, but it works like magic! You will have women writing their phone numbers down without even thinking twice.

Here's a great add-on to make sure you're getting a real phone number and not a pager or voicemail:

As she's writing down her phone number I say "Is this a number that you actually answer?" If she looks at me and hesitates, or says that it's her "voicemail or pager number," then I say "Look, write your real number down. It's going to be OK, I'll only call you nine times a day..." They laugh and usually give me their real number.

Now, if she answers my first question and says "No, I don't have email" then I bust on them and say "Well, do you have electricity?" This is a GREAT opportunity to use humor.

Then I say "Well, OK then. I like email better, but I'll take your regular phone number. It's so damn hard to reach people on the phone these days."

Just realize that all you have to do is ask.

Like I said, I've tried all kinds of things. And I've gotten hundreds of phone numbers. And I use this exact sequence every time I talk to a woman and I want to get her phone number. I've gotten to the point where I can often do this in a minute or two - no kidding!

Now that you know the sequence, write it down with the words and the steps, and rehearse it in your mind over and over until you know exactly what to say for each step and each response.

Many guys have asked me "But what do I tell her as a reason why I want her number or email?" I've never had a woman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knows why you asked. If she doesn't give it to you, then she also knew why you asked.

Just assume that this is the case.

If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth, assuming, calm way, you'll get a lot of emails and phone numbers.

Note: Carry a pen on you at all times. I prefer the Fisher Space Pen (chrome) because it's small, classy, and women love it!

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How Guys Screw Up First Dates

How Guys Screw Up First Dates

I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me for dating advice on how to behave around women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the first date.

I thought I'd devote one entire article to a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you're wondering how to behave around a woman you've just met.

A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES

I've noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a "potential mate".

Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes."

Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:

"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night stand."

In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.

And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind, either.

I'm talking about the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.


THE ANSWER

The simple dating advice here is...

DON'T DO IT.

If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you're talking to a woman, you're probably going to screw things up before they've even had a chance to get started.

Treating a woman that you've just met as if she very well could be the love of your life is something you should NEVER do.

Instead, take a very different approach.

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.

The MAIN reason that I do this...

SURPRISE...

IS THAT IT'S TRUE!

Duh.

The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible "long term" with most men. In other words, there if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she's going to have things about her that you don't like.

One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is "You're screwing up your chances with me".

Let's say I'm walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea. Let's assume that she and I just met the night before, I got her number, and now we're walking from my place to tea.

On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she trips over the doorway.

I might look at her, shake my head in an "overly dramatic fake annoyed" way, and say "This relationship just isn't going to work".

Then, let's say fifteen minutes later she spills her tea on the table and herself.

I'll shake my head again and say "What did I tell you about this kind of behavior?".

In other words, I'm communicating the very OPPOSITE of "You're a potential wife". I'm saying "I'm so comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you without caring what you think of me".

Does this sound a little crazy?

Good. It should.

But trust me.

If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation... being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you'll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.

So here it is your bit of dating advice... one thing that most guys who are unsuccessful with women do that screws things up... one thing to AVOID:

DON'T TREAT A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET AS IF SHE'S A POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND.

Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her that she's a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).

Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.

Another bit of dating advice:

Most guys don't "get" women.

And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks and "pick up lines" when it comes time to LEARN how to meet women.

They don't realize that all the tricks in the world aren't going to help them if they don't UNDERSTAND what's "going on".

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10 Things Men think Women like...

10 Things Men think Women like...

You are trying your hardest to make a good impression. You act in ways you think she'll like and you tell her what you think she wants to hear. But somehow, even your best efforts backfire.

Sound familiar?

Indeed, many guys behave in certain ways toward women because they think it will help their cause. They cry and profess their love to score a few extra points. But in fact, when taken to the extreme, these supposed "women-friendly" behaviors are sometimes the very things that will annoy her the most.

The following is a list of 10 such offenses that men commit regularly. They are all behaviors that women supposedly like, but unfortunately, they are often used in excess. So don't let your relationship go sour because of some petty misconceptions. With a quick read of the list below, you should have a clear idea of what to do -- and perhaps more importantly, what not to do -- in order to get her and keep her.

1. You call her too often

Why it will work against you: Incessant dialing is a major faux pas if you want to keep your dignity. It not only makes you look obsessive and dependent, but it can downright annoy her. If you are always on the other end of the phone, you lose your aura of mystery and independence that can be so intriguing.

What to do instead: For every two to three times you call her, she should be calling you at least once. Because of the old-world rules of courtship, you will inevitably be calling more often, but you should still make sure the calls are going both ways. Also, don't call during work hours or on Friday or Saturday nights.

2. You cry

Why it will work against you: You've heard time and time again that she wants a sensitive man, so you open the tear ducts every time she's around. Wrong. Crying makes you look too emotional and needy, possibly even unstable. She wants to be with someone who has an aura of strength and the capacity to protect her. But if you are constantly crying, your manly image is gone. Not to mention the annoyance factor: If you cry in public, she could be embarrassed, and that's the worst offense you can commit.

What to do instead: Unless something very tragic happened and your tears are genuine, ditch the crying act. Being sensitive to her needs is important, tears are not.

Smooching in public, always letting her decide and more relationship-busting offenses

3. You give her too much PDA

Why it will work against you: Rule No. 1: Never do anything to embarrass her publicly. And serenading, ogling and smooching her in public might do just that. Not only will she consider breaking up with you over it, she might also get pressure from friends and family to do so. The last thing you want is a bad rep with her crew as being possessive, cheesy or just plain silly.

What to do instead: Some women do indeed like a certain degree of PDA, but walk that line with care. Start with a peck in public and judge her reaction before proceeding to the public serenade.

4. You use baby talk and try to be cute

Why it will work against you: It is cheesy, kitschy, silly, nausea-inducing. Need I say more? Baby talk is for babies, so don't do it to her.

What to do instead: You are allowed to have the odd pet name and cute inside joke, but leave it at that. Unless she baby talks to you first and gives you a strong indication that she likes that kind of thing, do yourself a favor and ditch it entirely.

5. You are too accommodating

Why it will work against you: Yes, it's important to let her pick the movie once in a while. But if you are watching Dirty Dancing for the 11th time, you have a problem. While you need to be accommodating to some extent, you don't want to appear spineless. In particular, don't ask her permission to do things; that produces a mother-child dynamic, which is surely not what she is looking for in a relationship.

What to do instead: Take your spine back and show her that you are capable of making a decision. Pick the movie, the restaurant or the television show once in a while. After all, that's the basis of compromise -- sometimes she decides, sometimes you do.


6. You are too close with her family and friends

Why it will work against you: While she wants you to be friendly with her family and friends, she doesn't want you to jump the gun either. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, she'll want to make sure things are working between the two of you before bringing her family and friends into the mix.

What to do instead: Your relationship with her family and friends is something that has to develop over time. Be cordial and friendly, but don't go planning her brother's birthday party if you've only been together for a month.

7. You groom excessively

Why it will work against you: A woman generally doesn't want a man to spend more time grooming than she does. But perhaps more importantly, too much grooming will take away from your rugged, relaxed sex appeal. And believe me, that's so much more sexy on a man than a manicure.

What to do instead: Make sure you are clean and smell good, but ease up the facials and manicures; your sex appeal will skyrocket.

Use "I love you" sparingly, chill on the dance floor and lay off the constant chattering

8. You profess your love for her prematurely or too often

Why it will work against you: I know you probably think that the way to a woman's heart is through an "I love you." And you are not completely off base. But such a declaration made too early (or too often) will only freak her out. Not only that, but it puts you in an awfully vulnerable position if she doesn't say it back.

What to do instead: There is a time and place for everything. Don't say it because you think it will impress her; only say it when you mean it. And please, limit yourself to saying it a few times a week.

9. You "overdance"

Why it will work against you: Do you say things like, "I love to dance," or, "Let's go dancing tonight"? When she wants to leave a nightclub, do you find yourself saying, "Just one more song"? If you commit any of these offenses, then you are most certainly are overdancer. You are the extreme opposite of the "I don't dance" kind of guy and you are risking not being taken seriously. She might think you are avoiding buying her a drink or conversing with her at the bar. If all that is not enough, consider this: An overdancer tends to be smelly and sweaty by the end of the night.

What to do instead: Don't look so eager. She'll want you to dance some of the time, but you don't have to always be the instigator. Try to judge when she wants to dance and initiate dancing only half of the time. And don't forget to take breaks to buy her drinks.

10. You talk constantly

Why it will work against you: You might be a great talker, but if you can't be silent with her sometimes, then you need to listen up. Your incessant blabber is bound to annoy her sooner or later. Scratch that; it's probably already annoying her.

What to do instead: Although you've been taught to think that women like men who can talk and share, it goes both ways. Make sure you leave the floor open for her to talk too. Ask questions and don't forget to listen. And remember: sometimes silence is golden - watch what you do.

It might take some time and mental adjustment to rid yourself of these stereotypical notions of what women like. You've probably been told from birth that she'll like it if you sing to her accompanied by a six-piece band.

But the key here is moderation. You don't have to abandon any of the above behaviors entirely; just keep them low-key and you'll be fine. It's like with any good diet: Moderate all of the above behaviors, and every once in a while you can splurge on a public kiss without blowing it entirely.

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