Breakup Advice:
There is never a good time to break up with someone, ever, so when you know you want out, you should just buck up and do it."
Everyone has been dumped or dumped someone, but there is a formula
for success in this game to make sure both parties survive the ego
bruise.
Where was I when I discovered the trick to kicking the craziness that comes from getting dumped?
I’m glad you asked. I was at the supermarket checkout, waiting beside the magazines. I seriously saw God in an issue of US Weekly. OK, it wasn’t actually God in the US Weekly; it was a tiny, pocket-sized book about dealing with breakups. I don’t know how it got there (my guess is it fell out of an issue of Cosmo), but I was convinced that this travel-sized self-help book was specifically there for me.
I burned through it before it was even my turn to pay for my discounted tortilla chips. I don’t remember much of what the book said, but what I do remember is that it used the word rejection about eight million times. A girl who I was gating had just dumped me. I knew the breakup was coming. In fact, after a year we had started trying a "companionship" thing (a.k.a. "Friends With Benefits"), which basically just allowed us to still enjoy each other sexually before we had officially ended the relationship. When we officially broke up I wasn’t surprised (I broke it off, but only because she wasn't in to it anymore), but it hit me hard later. I wanted this too, but she made the final call. I was rejected first. Seeing her every night was torture. During the days, while working, I felt focused and free. I rarely thought of her, but come time for us to settle in for the evening, I found myself unable to resist her beauty and charm, as though that would change things. Rejection. Screw it. It was then that I realized how much of getting dumped is just an ego bruise.
There Is No Good Time To Break Up With Someone, Ever
How many times have you heard someone who was just dumped say, “And on New Year's, so brutal” or “How could he/she do this so close to my dog’s birthday?” Get real.Dumpers: There is never a good time to break up with someone, ever, so when you know you want out, you should just buck up and do it. It’s far crueler to stay with someone out of pity, fear, cowardliness or laziness. While we’re on the subject of ripping the Band-Aid off, if you have been hanging out with someone long enough to need to actually break it off to get out of seeing him or her, then a text is not an acceptable method of communication!
Dumpees: Life sucks. Toughen up. You are not alone.
Take A Break
I once had a two-year relationship with this girl we’ll call Mia. Mia was an incredible girlfriend. She had manners, she was hot, she was driven, witty and she was a slayer in bed. It was only when Mia and I broke up that I realized the magic of not speaking and how it can save your life after breaking up.Dumpers: Do not text, phone, email, Facebook, Instagram, tweet or communicate with the person you broke up with for at least half the amount of time you were together, or until the person you dumped says it is OK. And even then, proceed with caution.
Dumpees: You know what rules about Facebook? You can hide people from your feed without deleting them. This is what you need to do when you have been dumped. (While we’re on the subject of Facebook, never put your relationship status on there, seriously. It sucks when you break up.) You also need to email the dumper and say you cannot speak until you feel OK. The person will get it. Plus, he or she probably doesn’t want to talk to you for a while either. Ban yourself from communication and if you run into each other in public, say hello politely and move along. Restraint is what it’s all about here.
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