Keep Your Female Friend and...

Keep Your Female Friend and...

How To Keep Your Female Friend And Your Girlfriend

Having a female friend can bring many good things into your life. You can go to her for inside advice when the inner workings of your girlfriend’s mind are making you crazy. You can spend the evening with her when you aren’t in the mood for testosterone-fueled competition. She will be there for you when you need someone to talk to. Unfortunately, having a woman as a friend can also cause plenty of discord -- especially in your relationship with your girlfriend. How can you maintain a friendship with someone of the opposite sex while preserving the harmony in your romantic relationship?

Defensible female friends

There are some girls that you can have as friends without your girlfriend being able to justifiably complain about it. She might grumble about it, but she’ll have no ground to stand on. These women include those you were friends with before you got together with your girlfriend and those who are clearly in happy, stable relationships of their own. She also shouldn’t have a leg to stand on if she tries to bitch about a female friend that you are obviously not attracted to physically.

Female friends that are tougher to defend

On the other hand, there are some women you might want to have in your life that are understandably unacceptable to your girlfriend. If you have fooled around with your female friend in the past, it’s not difficult to see how that might bother your girlfriend. Ditto for the girl who has a questionable reputation. If your female friend has been known to go for attached guys, your girlfriend has a right to be suspicious. Finally, if your girlfriend genuinely dislikes your female friend -- for reasons other than the facts that she’s a girl and she’s friends with you -- you might want to take her opinion into account.

What you can do with your female friend

There are some activities you can do with your female friend that shouldn’t be threatening to your girlfriend. Your girlfriend will feel much more comfortable with you going out for drinks if you do it guy-style. Don’t go to a quiet wine bar where the atmosphere is romantic; instead, take your female friend to a loud pub and pound back some beers like she’s just one of the guys. As far as conversation topics go, talking about your mutual past with your female friend is allowed, but try not to do it too much in front of your girlfriend or she’ll start to feel left out. Take part in hobbies or interests that you and your female friend have in common and that your girlfriend isn’t into. It’s always a good idea to keep your time spent with your female friend in a group situation or at least in a public place.

Are sleepovers OK? Find out what you can't do with your female friend next...

What you can’t do with your female friends

In order to keep your relationship with your girlfriend steady and trouble-free, there are some activities that you should never do with your female friend. No. 1: absolutely no sleepovers. It doesn’t matter if you’re drunk, if there’s a storm outside or if she needs company after a breakup, there is no reason you should spend the night at your female friend’s house -- even if you sleep on the couch. Also, avoid date-like, full-evening plans (like dinner and a movie) in order to keep the atmosphere platonic. You should never choose to spend special occasions like holidays with your female friend instead of your girlfriend. Acting as a fill-in date for your friend for a wedding or office party is also a no-no. Basically, there shouldn’t be any aspect to your interactions that could force people to assume you’re dating.

Venus and Mars as friends

Men and women have many differences, but that shouldn’t stop us from being friends. A friendship between a man and a woman can be just as platonic as the ones you share with your male friends -- but it does require a little extra attention to make sure everyone involved is comfortable with the situation. You don’t have to give up your girl friend just because you have a girlfriend. Just be honest and aware of their feelings and you should be able to have the best of both worlds.