Male Fetishes

Male Fetishes

Hi Man Shed,

What are the most common male fetishes, and are there more men into fetishes today than before? I want to see where I stand compared to other guys.

Thanks,

- Alan R., Middletown, NY

Fetishes have been around since the dawn of man. A good rule of thumb is that anything can be eroticized and made sexual. If you can think of it being a fetish, then it’s been done, from an inanimate object to a body part and everything in between.

The most popular male fetishes vary and often have something in common: proximity and accessibility. One often gravitates toward the turn-on and puts themselves within its reach. Common fetishes include feet, shoes, body parts, lingerie, and power exchange (domination/submission). Each of these is present in most daily activities and can be relatively easily accessed.

Today, less common male fetishes are becoming more popular with the internet. Those who once felt alone now find online communities and websites dedicated to their particular sexual interest. There is strength in numbers. No longer does the diaper fetishist need to feel isolated as there are websites filled with people with similar interests and admirers. Whatever you’re into, I guarantee there are people who get turned on by your fetish.

big girl attraction

Dear Man Shed,

I’m sick and tired of my guy friends making fun of me for liking big girls. It’s so annoying and I’m over the jokes. At first it was funny or whatever, but I’m over it. Why do I like larger women, and can I change this? I’m just not into skinny women.

- Robert P., Panama City Beach, FL

Why would you want to get rid of a blessing like this? You know what you want and what turns you on. Some people spend a lifetime still trying to figure this out with no luck. And, you’re not like every guy chasing the same stick figure model at the bar. You can focus your attention on a woman who may appreciate your efforts more.

A little more cushion for the pushin’ is becoming more popular as a mainstream desire. The waif look is dying fast and curves are making a comeback. I’m not sure what your definition of a larger woman is, but does it really matter? We like what we like and rather than focusing on how to change your attraction, why not focus on becoming comfortable and confident with your attraction.

Friends give each other a hard time about a lot of things, and the more strength and resilience you show them, the more likely they’ll give up on their criticisms and judgments. I know they’ll call you names like chubby chaser, but don’t let it get to you. Find a larger woman who makes you feel excited and fulfilled. Eventually, you’ll teach your friends that happiness can be found in a variety of shapes and sizes. Besides, how well has chasing the stick figures worked out for your friends?

cheating girlfriend

Hey Manshed,

My girlfriend of two years just told me that she slept with somebody else a few weeks ago when she went away for the weekend with her girlfriends. I’m so mad at her. Right now I love her and I hate her -- I mostly hate her. I go back and forth with both of these thoughts, and I can’t decide what to do.

I’m staying with my parents right now because I can’t live under the same roof as her. I don’t know if I should stay or leave her. Everyone gives me the same lines -- follow your heart or everything happens for a reason or something like that. Can you give me some straight advice and not the fluffy generic comments?

Thanks, I really appreciate it.

- Anonymous

OK, advice minus fluff coming right up. She made a big mistake. We know this. But she told you and was honest about her mistake. That’s something to consider and respect in my book. She could have lied or said nothing. Even though trust has been shattered, her honesty should count for something.

Take into consideration the past two years. Was it a healthy, happy, pleasant two years or one filled with fights and unhappiness? Did she earn the right to a second chance over those two years? No matter what, eventually you have to get over this. You get to decide if you’re going to get through this with her in your life or without her. You make the choice. Can you see yourself with her long-term, even forever? If you can, be careful not to let your ego and stubbornness fuel your decision. Everlasting love is something that shouldn’t be given up on so easily. If you never saw yourselves growing old together, then what are you really debating here? Pack up and move on.

One last thing, if you have any skeletons in your closet, consider cutting her some slack. You know what I’m talking about. Remember the Latin stripper from last summer’s Las Vegas bachelor party that you’re never supposed to talk about?

backdoor lovin'

Hello The Man Shed,

My wife and I have been experimenting with anal sex and we try to follow the suggestions of how to make it safe and pleasurable. We read that it is not wise to use an enema as the chemicals can be harmful to the lining of the rectum. She is following a good diet that is high in fiber and we make sure she has a bowel movement before we begin anal sex. However, there is still some fecal matter left and this makes her uncomfortable, more anxious, which impacts penetration. Any suggestions?

- Mark V., Miami, FL

Wow. You sound extremely knowledgeable about anal sex and I’m happy you’re both experimenting with it. Everything you described is great preparation and you’re well on your way to having some great anal sex. We’ve been conditioned to be self-conscious about our bowels, so it’s understandable that it can trigger some anxiety.

My one-year-old niece takes the largest diaper dump in the history of mankind, and the family talks and laughs about it, yet the slightest trace of feces during sex paralyzes us with shame or anxiety. You’re right about certain chemicals in enema solutions that can be irritating to the rectal lining. One thing you can do is use a water enema. Humans are primarily made of water and there’s nothing harmful about a little room-temperature water up your bum. For water enemas, take the advice of your shampoo ingredients: Rinse and repeat. You can purchase an enema bulb at most pharmacies/drugstores or sex novelty shops. There are even attachments you can purchase that connect to your shower. This should do the trick and hopefully lead to less anxious anal encounters.


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Women's Body Issues:

Women's Body Issues:

Women's Body Issues: Their Fault Not Ours

• Better Man in brief ...
• Women's desires to approximate a model-size ideal causes issues -- not men.
• Men like a woman with a little meat on her, so go ahead, ladies: eat up.
• Ultimately, people should strive for healthy weights -- neither too skinny nor too fat.

"Many women believe it is men who force the ideal of the size-three figure on a woman, but it’s not -- it’s other women."

’Tis the season for peace, joy and weight gain. After Christmas and New Years, we will all jiggle a bit more. Women will feel like kicking themselves for their weight gain and will suffer from self-loathing that lasts long past the chocolate free-for-all of Easter.

What women don’t know is that many men get Yule logs in their pants when they see extra curves on the ladies. Did any of us really swear off Jessica Simpson when she gained a few extra pounds after her divorce? Sure, Kirstie Alley blew up too far to handle, and she was looney-tunes long before the weight gain anyway. Still, a little meat on a woman is sexy.

Weight and sexual attraction

There was a beautiful woman in my office that every man lusted after. She was one of those women who never saw herself as attractive, which gave her a great personality without the usual inferiority issues. She had perfect curves, large but not unmanageable breasts, and I often thought of how delightful it would be to hold onto her ass as I did her doggie style. That’s just the romantic in me. When she got divorced, another woman told me that this goddess admitted to having a crush on me. I had one of those “should-seek-medical-help” erections for days even without Viagra.

Her divorce crushed her and she started losing weight. Her breasts shrank, her hips and butt disappeared and, as became more and more able to hide behind a broom handle, my sexual desire for her disappeared. She was just too skinny.

While clothes hide a few extra pounds on a person, with the exception of muffin-top hip-huggers and too-small midriff-showing tops, the same can be said for women who are too skinny. I once had a woman appear nude and willing out of my bathroom, but the sight of her ribs and bony hips turned me off. I quickly came up with an excuse to keep from having sex with her. To this day, I don't think she ever believed I turned gay while she was disrobing in the bathroom.

Women’s body issues come from other women

Many women believe it is men who force the ideal of the size-three figure on a woman, but it’s not -- it’s other women. As comedienne Carol Leifer wrote for a Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George ask Elaine how women torture each other if not by giving wedgies, she replies: “We just tease her about a body part until she develops an eating disorder.”

If you want the truth, ask a comedian. It’s advertising and fashion that lie. Are those male-dominated? Well, fashion is, but I doubt that most male designers really have much more than a professional interest in women's breasts and asses. The women’s publications are not run or written by men -- and in a recent Marie Claire blog post, a female writer penned a brutal review of the show Mike & Molly for daring to show overweight people on TV. That show, meanwhile, has actually climbed to the top of the CBS lineup. The viewing public speaks.

Maura Kelly: case in point

Maura Kelly, the Marie Claire author who attacked television "fatties," has a profile picture that makes her look like the type of woman who shows up to a second date wearing a wedding dress with mascara ready to smear into tears at a man shocked at the thought of such a commitment. She writes: “While I think our country's obsession with physical perfection is unhealthy, I also think it's at least equally crazy, albeit in the other direction, to be implicitly promoting obesity. Yes, anorexia is sick, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny.”

"I'm sure daddy, like this woman’s father, loved them, gave them hugs and called them "My Princess," which caused further personality problems of a different sort."

She went further into the zone of insensitive stupidity by continuing, “to be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine [sic] addict slumping in a chair.”

It was only after 3,971 shocked and angry comments appeared in response to the piece that Ms. Kelly admitted to being an anorexic. (Most probably a “plump girl” who hated herself into lifelong sickness?) She admitted to anorexia but has probably kept the bulimia hidden deep in her “fat clothes closet.” I have dated that type. Note the past tense. It will stay that way.

Women, accept yourselves

Ms. Kelly, to her credit (or her willingness to bend to public humiliation, depending on how truthful you wish to be), wrote an update fumbling to explain her thoughts. A passage in her bio: “Though she's in her 30s, she's never been in love before -- and has started to wonder if she ever will be. She's decided she has to start making dating her job if it's ever going to happen,” says it all. Ms. Kelly, it won’t happen unless you learn to like donuts, Chinese buffets and -- more than anything else -- yourself for what you are.

Ms. Kelly, however, is not the only screwed-up woman in a position to be heard by gullible girls. After working for two years at a fashion magazine, I was shocked by how the female staff, all former models, treated each other. The competition to fit into the teensy clothing samples submitted by fashion designers for article reviews was fierce, and the women were passive-aggressively cruel to each other. And not always passively. These were the ones who were heard as the voices of the “modern woman.” They also had incredible food issues.

When I started dating one of the tall, lean fashion editors, I was quickly perplexed by her need to spend four hours in the gym every day. We went away for a long weekend and her one “must-have” was a place with a gym. She explained she couldn’t miss a day at the gym and her first love, the Stairmaster, or she would go into depression. Her other addiction was to about 20 pounds of carrot sticks daily.

Men are not to blame

It wasn’t until I met her parents and her mother showed me a high school photo of her daughter that I realized her problem. My girlfriend hadn't been fat in high school -- she was healthy, but still thought herself “too fat” due to the fashion magazines she worshiped, with articles by the likes of Ms. Kelly -- closeted freaks that cut themselves because mommy told them to not eat so many potatoes at dinner. I’m sure daddy, like this woman’s father, loved them, gave them hugs and called them “My Princess,” which caused further personality problems of a different sort.

Women are crushed by societal pressure for an ideal of “beauty.” Fake breasts, puffed-up lips, collagen injections and anus bleaching -- a woman should never bleach her anus due to the ideals of  beauty; she should just do it to make her feel good about herself.

eat up, ladies

Being healthy is important. Any person who can’t walk up a flight of stairs without having a heart attack has a problem. Clothes that are a size (or five) too small for your figure look sloppy. If a value-meal at McDonald’s is considered an appetizer, then there is an eating disorder. We should all strive to be thin enough to be healthy, but you won’t find me complaining if you’re built for comfort instead of speed. Have a merry Christmas, ladies, and have a good helping of turkey, stuffing and dessert. There are many of us men who will help you work it off... Well, maybe ;-(


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