Open Relationships...

Open Relationships...

Persuade Her To Have An Open Relationship

• Better Man in brief ...
• For an open relationship to work, both parties have to be keen on the idea.
• To sell the concept, you need to focus on how she will benefit.
• Make sure she knows it is only about sex, as emotional infidelity is more of a concern for her.

"Often, the best sexual communication occurs outside of the bedroom..."

You make her No. 1, but you don’t want her to be the only one. Open relationships offer sexual variety with other people, which immediately sells you on the idea, but what about your girlfriend? Having an open setup could result in the relationship breaking up. Hey, some relationships just don’t make it once they’ve tried the open road. If you have breakup on your mind, perhaps ending the relationship is your best bet rather than suggesting you widen the playing field a little.

However, if you want to keep your relationship a priority in your life, but you just want to have some new experiences, perhaps you’ll be one of the lucky ones who finds that bringing outsiders into your relationship will add some spark to it.  It’s good to bear in mind that for an open relationship to work, both parties have to be keen on the idea. When trying to awaken your girlfriend’s interest in open relationships, here are some ways to go about it.

1- Plant the idea

Instead of focusing on your needs, let her be introduced to the idea of open relationships in a more objective way. During a hot night together, why not suggest renting an erotic movie or two? Choose movies that involve threesomes and try to find quality porn that has a bit of a story line if possible, especially since a huge chunk of erotic films out there are not always liked by women. (Note: Avoiding porn that features facials or other acts she’ll view as degrading is also a must.)
Watching a steamy flick together won’t only add some spice to your sex life now, but it could also make her turned on by what she sees, thereby planting an idea in her mind that she might want to take further.

2- Encourage the fantasy

Now it’s up to you to encourage her wildest dreams. Often, the best sexual communication occurs outside of the bedroom, so take some time to share your erotic fantasies with your girlfriend and let her do the same. This is a great way to nurture trust in your relationship, but it also encourages her fantasies to become reality. For instance, if she tells you that she has previously fantasized about sex with another person, hear her out and encourage her to describe it to you. Once her mind is open to the thoughts, her body is more likely to follow.

"Find the good things that an open relationship can bring to your lives."

3- Hang out with swingers

Taking things to the next step can involve hitting some swingers’ clubs to meet swingers who are fun, young females. Your girlfriend will see that the act of meeting and picking up swingers is definitely not the same as asking someone out on a date. There’s no trying to get swingers interested in who you are; rather, it’s all about having a sexual experience and then moving on to others. Period. This is sure to put your girlfriend’s mind at ease: Swinging is carefree and noncommittal. You leave your emotions at the door while gaining sexual stimulation.

The bonus? There’s no guilt of going behind your partner’s back or betraying them with your cheating ways because it’s all out in the open.

4- Sell the benefits

One of the biggest mistakes men make when suggesting an open relationship to their girlfriends is that they focus on what they want and completely forget that she has to be on the same page for it to work.

But if a salesman is going to sell you a new body lotion, he’s not only going to tell you what its benefits are, he’s also going to show you how it’s better than the current one you’re using. So, when discussing open relationships with your girlfriend, focus on how the change to your relationship can benefit you both more than your current setup. For instance, she can still reap the benefits of your current relationship, but she doesn’t have to feel sexually limited; she can take that career opportunity overseas without carrying the emotional baggage of the relationship. Find the good things that an open relationship can bring to your lives. If she sees this for herself, she’s more likely to become interested in giving it a try.

5- Make it about sex

It has been said that when it comes to infidelity, women are more likely to have emotional affairs whereas men focus on the sexual satisfaction. This backdrop of information shows you the glaring truth: Often, women will associate sex with something more emotional, or they think that sex will lead to love. This could be the undercurrent that is preventing your girlfriend from wanting an open relationship as her fears could include the thought that you’re going to be falling in love with the new women you’re sexual with.

be open

You have to nip this one in the butt, guys. Ensure she knows your relationship is the sexual and emotional priority -- the main act. All extras in the movie are there for purely sexual adventures. If you keep the emotional stuff out of the equation, she will not see it as a threat, and the good times can keep on, er, coming.



Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships
Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships
Eyes Wide Open: Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity

 

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Get The Carefree Girl Back

Get The Carefree Girl Back

When you first started dating, your priorities were getting to know each other, having fun and being romantic. But once you drifted out of the honeymoon orbit and reentered the real world, chances are you found that your daily routine, with all its work, house chores and other responsibilities, took over. It’s no wonder that you somehow lost your carefree, fun-loving girlfriend in the process. But here’s how to get her -- as well as the fun spirit of your relationship -- back for a sequel.

Provide a secure environment

One of the real fun suckers in any relationship is unnecessary stress. This can be due to insecurities or jealousies, which usually boil down to one person not feeling confident in the relationship. Many women feel that they can’t enjoy a committed relationship unless it’s towering with stability, so what’s vital is that you zap those silly stressors by being open and honest with each other. If she feels secure in the relationship, she will let her guard down. That will translate into both of you having more fun.

Get away from each other

Of course, when you first started dating all you wanted was to spend time cocooned together. But life has to go on and now you probably find that, between work and all your other activities, you don't get to spend as much time with each other as you used to. Although your immediate reaction to this realization could be to cram in more time together, don’t let yourselves become glued together at the hip because that’s a surefire way to smother the flame.

To keep it burning for longer, it helps to spend time away from her. Hang out with your friends and let her have time with hers, too. This time apart is important because always being in each other’s space, especially if you live together, can lead to something fun becoming boring. What you want to do is make the time you do spend with your girlfriend as special as possible.

Do something fun every week

Organize a weekly date night and schedule it into your planner so that you make it as important as a business meeting. Note: Spending time together by default (for instance, doing household chores) doesn’t count as quality time.

Make your dates more inventive than the usual dinner and a movie, so that you look forward to them as much as you did at the start of your relationship. Think bonfires on the beach, trips to the zoo, a wine-tasting excursion, or a picnic in your living room. You could also think up some fun activities or hobbies to pursue together, such as trying out a new sport. These will be great bonding experiences and both of you will anticipate the weekly adventure. Having fun in your relationship keeps it alive.

Go on vacation

Research from the Netherlands found that simply planning a vacation causes a big boost in levels of happiness. The study was published in the Journal of Applied Research in Quality of Life and surveyed happiness levels among over 1530 Dutch adults, 974 of whom went on a holiday during the 32-week study period. The results found that anticipating a vacation led to happiness. So just planning a holiday can bring some excitement to your relationship. Getting away from the routine of daily life is great because you can spend time doing what you love and enjoy quality time without interruptions. There are no stressful family or career issues causing you to miss out on the fun you can have in a fresh environment.

But don’t let the fun stop when you return home. Try to incorporate that carefree feeling into your real life in small ways. For instance, if you enjoyed taking time daily to chat over a glass of wine, try to do that in evenings; likewise, if you both felt rejuvenated at trying new activities during your holiday, consider taking up some classes where you can learn something new together.

bottom line

Getting your carefree girlfriend back is not about trying to change your girlfriend or backtrack to the honeymoon phase (which isn’t built to last, by the way). Instead, it’s about trying to keep the relationship as enjoyable and exciting as possible, instead of letting yourselves fall into a rut.

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Player Strategy : From Seafood to Sex

Player Strategy : From Seafood to Sex

How To Get Her From The Table To The Bed...

There’s always a need for timing and tact when attempting to get a woman into bed. All women are different, but for the most part there are several approaches that will typically result in success -- provided you are patient, observant and talented in the intimate arts.

So, how do you make the transition from dinner to bed? This is an especially big challenge because most ladies have a variety of requirements, beyond holding their attention, that must be met before they even consider sharing themselves, and even the best of men aren’t mind readers. Therefore, we have to examine a few general options that could potentially pertain to a large number of presumably receptive females. It’s about preparing in advance, maintaining a certain amount of subtlety and knowing when the time is right to make the final move. To make the transition from dinner to bed is a series of steps, just like anything else in this crazy game -- but how to begin?

Take her to a sensual dinner

No woman can resist the allure of a perfectly planned evening, punctuated by excellent food and even better company. But it goes beyond merely paying her a few carefully worded compliments, holding doors and pulling out her chair. It’s about preparing for the ultimate goal, which means you should put an emphasis on the atmosphere; leave her suspended between appreciative pleasure and excited surprise. This should be like no other meal she’s ever experienced.

You will make it unique by focusing on her senses; the sights and smells of her surroundings should place her in a state of loving receptivity, and this requires precise attention to detail: the lighting, the manner in which the courses are served and, certainly, the courses themselves. You will eat well, but light -- nobody is feeling amorous when stuffed. Perhaps a bit of sushi or an arrangement of original appetizers will be both exotic and strangely enticing.

Make an evening of it

Regardless of your confidence, effort is always required. These days, it seems as if guys think they can get away with a standard dinner at a mediocre chain restaurant, a quick trip to the mall and a “Man, you look hot tonight” comment. Most women are sick of this lax approach to a romantic, sensual evening. And be original, for crying out loud. Everyone does the dinner-and-movie bit, so how about taking her to the opera instead? Dressing up is something women tend to enjoy and whether you do or not, it doesn’t change the fact that formal wear does indeed make us look and feel better about ourselves.

If not the theater or opera, perhaps a gallery opening or a moonlit walk in the park, or maybe it can be more casual; maybe you can return to your place and attempt to make a dessert together. The bottom line is that effort will always be rewarded, helping you make the transition from dinner to bed, and an hour or two of doing the mundane and expected doesn’t qualify.

Stop for a nightcap

So, you’ve managed the dinner and she’s enjoying herself immensely. But you get the feeling that in order to maintain -- and perhaps even enhance -- her amorous feelings toward you, it’s best to keep her warm. Usually, the best way to accomplish this is to stop for a nightcap toward the end of the evening. A club or bar isn’t your target, though; those places are designed for singles and offer nothing in the way of intimacy. You already have your girl; you just want to sit for a bit, talk and take in a cocktail or two in order to keep her in the correct frame of mind.

This isn’t about getting her drunk, because if she is, the entire idea of a beautiful evening together flies directly out the window. This is merely about the aforementioned warmth; it’s about making her pupils dilate just a tad and ensuring that when you return home, the bed is a guaranteed destination.

Stop on the couch

Many men don’t quite realize that foreplay actually should begin outside the bedroom. Women appreciate a prequel, a hint of what is to come; it excites them and if done correctly, a receptive lady’s eyes will glaze over with lust before you get anywhere near the bedroom.

The couch allows you to have a nice, quiet, intimate conversation after dinner. When she speaks, she knows she has your full attention -- which is a huge turn-on for her to begin with -- and after several humorous anecdotes and a few hesitant touches by both parties, things can escalate easily from there. Just make sure you do move from the couch to the bed. Not only is it far more comfortable, but it seems to boost the woman’s confidence level. Just going at it out there on the couch lends the experience a campy, almost porn-like atmosphere, which doesn’t always work for a first-time encounter.

tricks of the trade

There’s no real “trick” to make the transition from dinner to bed. Sometimes, it may feel like trying to solve the puzzle before the moment of truth and all women are indeed different. But in reality, the majority will respond to a carefully designed evening that elicits trust, confidence and, of course, those innate female drives to feel a man’s touch.

Players
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Player Do's

Player Do's

The Player will always have to contend with stereotypes and snap judgments. Perhaps the most insidious and equally inaccurate belief is the idea that a ladies' man lives on the edge, that he knows nothing but bad habits and reprehensible behavior. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, the Player doesn’t drink himself into a stupor every weekend; he remains drug-free; he takes care of his health and general well-being, and although he’s not adverse to heavy partying and even dangerous hobbies, he always respects himself. The idea that one must break the law or become a chemically addled individual in order to be a Player is entirely illogical, anyway. Most women -- or, at least, the women the Player would normally associate with -- would not be interested in a disgusting, loudmouthed drunk. This is because of one immutable fact: Women watch how a man treats himself because it’s an indication of the treatment she will receive.

 

 

Exercise

You are no longer 18. The days of cramming down Big Macs and milkshakes should be far behind you for two obvious reasons: 1) At 18, you could get away with it, and; 2) You’re a grown-up now. Mature, intelligent individuals don’t waste their lives by living on fast food and frozen dinners; they expand their horizons by actively seeking new food experiences and keeping an eye on their caloric intake. This may sound like an ad for the latest “stay healthy” public service announcement, but honestly, remaining trim and slim is of the utmost importance for any active Player. It goes well beyond looking more attractive to women (although, of course, that’s a benefit); it’s about respecting yourself and showing the world that you have some discipline, motivation and ambition. It all comes together into one very appealing package in the eyes of most women, so make sure you actually use that gym membership. Player payoff: Nice Physique

Moderate alcohol intake

It seems to be the cornerstone of any good party, and while you may not wish to abstain entirely, you should be fully aware of the pitfalls involved with overindulgence. We’re not in a high school health class here, but at the same time, while many men will simply roll their eyes and say, “I get it, I get it,” they’re often the first to fall. They start to rely on alcohol to become attractive to women; they begin to ply women with alcohol rather than rely on their own God-given gifts. And, finally, their entire “scene” revolves around the bar. Even worse is when alcohol makes a guy believe he’s a hit with the ladies -- it’s just plain embarrassing to see a wannabe Player who thinks he’s Bond because he’s drunk. Moderation is key, people. A cocktail for the ladies at 11 p.m., maybe a beer for you -- then sober up and find yourself in the throes of passion by 2 a.m. Get it right. Player payoff: Self-Control

Active lifestyle

It’s an accepted fact that those who maintain an active lifestyle simply make better first impressions. The reason does involve your healthy physique, of course, but it also relates to everything that is associated with activity. You’re not sitting at home, are you? You’re out and about doing things; maybe you’re rock climbing today and taking a kickboxing class tomorrow. And beyond this, activity begets other activity in that you’re simply more open-minded and willing to try new things. All of this translates to one thing that is always crucial for any Player: an interesting aura. People want to know more about active individuals. They want to hear the stories they have because, obviously, they must have stories. By keeping your calendar full of active events and activities, you will immediately become more attractive and intriguing to the opposite sex, and this is a tried-and-true fact. Player payoff: Positive Perception

No drugs

Humans are fickle, hedonistic creatures who, at times, have little in the way of effective willpower. We all have to admit this -- it’s a universal weakness. This is why we need to be all the more wary of temptations that, at the time they gallop attractively into our field of view, appear relatively harmless.

“What can one hit of X really do to me?”
“So I smoke pot a few times a week -- it doesn’t hurt me.”
“No, I’m not addicted to painkillers -- I stubbed my toe.”

There are those who will extol the fringe benefits of certain drugs and I’m here to tell you that absolutely none of it is worth the trouble. There is no drug that won’t eventually backfire and there’s an even more persuasive argument for some of you: Only sober highs are truly experienced. And besides, classy, respectable women aren’t interested in the adolescent egomania that participates in drug use. You are a mature, well-adjusted, confident man who needs no artificial boost in life. Player payoff: Positive Perception

Physical fitness

People who don’t normally exercise or workout are confused on this issue. One of the excuses they give for not getting involved is because it will “tire them out.” See, those who frequently get their heart rate up understand that such activity will only give you more energy. And what’s more important to a ladies' man playing the field? You don’t have to spend the majority of your free time jogging or playing racquetball, but you should certainly find a way to sweat at least several times per week. Again, it’s not so much about the cosmetic result; it’s how much better you feel. You’ll smile more, food will taste better and the added stamina in the bedroom is a 100% bonus for all interested parties. In general, the in-shape individual is simply happier and more fun to be around, both of which are essentials for the Player’s mood and attitude. Player payoff: Mental Fitness

Sexual protection

Guys have been looking for a way around the condom since the moment of its introduction all those years ago. Sadly, if you’ve opted for the swinging bachelor lifestyle, the condom must remain your sidekick if you’re to remain erect -- and both meanings of “erect” apply. Being safe has never been more important and even discounting the more serious and potentially deadly STDs, no Player can be effective with genital warts. It just doesn’t work. Furthermore, while the woman may do her damndest to convince you that she’s clean, that she’s on the pill (etc., etc., etc.), the bottom line is that if you just met her a few hours earlier, the condom still has to make an appearance. Outside of STDs, no statement can ruin a Player’s day as quickly as, “I’m pregnant,” so you’re just going to have to bite the bullet and face the facts. Player payoff: Cleanliness and Health

Clean-living lover

The idea that the out-of-control, immature frat kid in college is a “Player” is an irritation for the true ladies' men and pickup artists of the world. It not only takes practice and experience, it also demands that we treat ourselves appropriately; in addition to the obvious personal bonuses, it increases our overall appeal in countless ways. The Player lives clean and reaps the benefits.

 

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Advice For The Player...

Advice For The Player...

Many men labor under the misapprehension that the most difficult aspect of flirting is the initial approach. And while one can always sweat and obsess over the intimidating prospect of walking up to a woman and saying “hi,” the deciding factor is the interaction that immediately follows.

The importance of a first impression cannot be understated, and if you wish to score a victory, you must not only grab her attention, you must also hold a woman’s attention. Believe it or not, this is where the vast majority of encounters fall apart for men. Up to this point, they’ve managed to net the requisite eye contact and body language from across the room, received a boost of confidence from a few encouraging smiles, and have now embarked upon the actual conversation. They figure they’re golden -- they relax. And before they know it, the woman has thanked them for the drink and disappeared into the crowd. What happened? Well, it doesn’t have to happen.

And the way to avoid this is to learn how to hold a woman’s attention.

Find a good conversational spot

It’s impossible to form a connection when screaming in her ear over the driving music or attempting to have a one-on-one conversation amid a sea of shoulders. If you’ve successfully snagged her interest at the start, take the initiative and lead her to a place where the two of you can talk in a more agreeable setting. Make sure you first establish a positive foundation after a few minutes though; a woman will be more likely to agree to this if she actually wants to learn more about you.

The bottom line is that in order to hold a woman’s attention you must leave the crushing crowd and discussion-destroying music as far behind as possible. This shows you’re interested in more than her body, that you find her interesting and enjoy speaking with her, and that you respect and appreciate good communication. And if things go well during this “separation phase,” it’s that much easier to take the next step.

Maintain eye contact

If you ask women, they will say that a lack of eye contact has become a serious issue these days. I attribute this to the electronic age in which everyone, even adults, can only seem to stare at the tips of their sneakers and mumble. Texting doesn’t help communication skills, people. And after you’ve finally mustered the courage to speak to that exquisite bombshell who's been dominating the dance floor, you had best look into those beautiful eyes when you first begin the discussion.

Now, you don’t have to stare into her eyes for minutes on end -- there’s a fine line between attentive and maniacal -- but always make sure to meet her gaze on a continual basis. Women don’t seem to have this problem, but let’s not forget that eye contact has a lot to do with confidence, and it’s rarely the woman who endures these trials at the club. Admit it, ladies.

Ask leading questions

Interviewers are told never to ask questions that only require a “yes” or “no” answer and they’re encouraged to pursue the most detailed responses possible. It’s not much different when you first speak to a receptive hottie, when it’s essential that you get her talking and directly involved in the conversation. Therefore, instead of asking the default chitchat questions like; “So, are you enjoying yourself?” (heck, she could even nod in reply to that) and, “Can I buy you a drink?” (not a ton of elaboration required), be original and you’ll hold a woman’s attention.

Ask her what she thinks about certain things. Once you’ve learned about her job, ask a specific (hopefully semi-intelligent) question about it. If you do this correctly, she should end up talking more than you and that’s exactly what you want. Most times, it’s what the girl wants too, regardless of any claims to the contrary. In record time, you will become a sensitive, respectful listener.

Fix on a topic of her choosing

Guys are always more comfortable when talking about a subject they introduced. But it happens so often -- we need to be comfortable in such situations -- that most women are left nodding their heads, sipping their cocktail and scanning the room for someone who doesn’t have to listen to himself jabber.

After the preliminary niceties, see if you can’t latch onto a topic she has partially unsheathed, and then grasp it firmly. She brought it up; how can she grow bored with her own topic? However, bear in mind that only seasoned veterans should really attempt this on a frequent basis; it really is much easier to have a prepared “in,” and there’s no way to prepare for the unknown.

However, if you’re successful with this tip, you will ingratiate yourself immediately and score big points by allowing her to take command.

Use compliments and observations

Usually, men have game plans when they first speak to an attractive woman. They’ve rehearsed it in their heads a hundred times and if they stray from this plan, they run the risk of becoming flustered. However, the key to engaging in conversation is fluidity and sparks of spontaneity, which are the common human elements that arise when two people enjoy each other’s company and don’t rely on preset “plans.”

So, when you go over there, make your mark by paying attention to her and proving your attentiveness. If she cracks a joke that strikes you as particularly funny or if she agrees with you on the latest movie, make the effort to build on that compatibility. “You know, so many people don’t understand that!” “I just love your laugh.” “You’re really easy to talk to.”

Compliments on her physical appearance are socially bourgeois, anyway. Go deeper. Observe and compliment her.

Put the spotlight on her

A woman requires your attention but she doesn’t wish to be smothered and, in fact, she’s usually seeking a man who can get her talking. Perhaps the most challenging barrier is the one that stands between you and a steady stream of conversation, which is why you must put her in the limelight and keep her there. Manage this, and the rest’s a breeze.

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Player "No-No's"

Player "No-No's"

Although it would be unfair to say all Players are essentially the same in terms of traits and personality, anybody who labels himself a “ladies' man” holds firm to a base set of ideals. Hence, there are certain words that aren’t part of the Player’s vocabulary, and certain sayings that will never escape his lips. If you’re a woman and you’re asking yourself, “How can I spot a ‘Player'?" then you simply need to listen for the following statements; if you ever hear any of them, your guy doesn’t qualify.

A successful pickup artist is typically endowed with the gift of gab, but thanks to time and experience, he carefully selects what chitchat he makes. To the receptive girl, it always sounds smooth and casual -- never forced and never strained, and it will lead most any woman to relax in mere minutes. In short, Players are master conversationalists but they’re also experts at controlling their own fate. Always remember: Players would never say anything to compromise those aforementioned ideals.

THE TOP 5

“I love you”

It’s a predictable No. 1, but all the critical women out there should realize that avoiding this heartfelt statement saves you a great deal of stress and pain. As the Player has no enemies -- male or female -- and he frowns on manipulation and deception, he isn’t about to toy with a woman’s heart just to satisfy his base desires. At no point will a true ladies' man say: “I love you.” While it does indeed stem from a dislike of commitment, these three little words only lead to trouble. A Player will spare you that. There may come a day when a pickup artist does say those words every woman has wanted to hear since playing “wedding dress-up” as a little girl, but if so, that means two things: 1) He means it; and 2) He has voluntarily turned in his Player license. Only the cruel and evil say “I love you” to get what they want, and then go on their merry way.

“I don’t care -- whatever you want to do”

At no point is a Player disinterested in his partner’s hobbies and activities, and at no point does he relinquish all control of the situation. There’s a reason why you typically only hear this statement from married or committed men; men who have already accepted their fate and have lost all interest in the proceedings. The ladies' man is always interested in hearing a woman’s suggestions for plans and he’s never a doormat, as he understands the ceaseless female desire for avid communication. No man who claims to be successful in the playing field says, “I don’t care” very often, as it typically halts a discussion prematurely and signifies an apathetic approach to the relationship dynamic -- and possibly even a weak personality. Besides, “whatever you want to do” could mean just about anything, and no Player leaves so much to chance.

“This is way too expensive”

He may think it, but he’d never say it. Having money certainly isn’t a prerequisite for all aspiring Players (although it helps), but one should never flaunt his lack of funds. Even if he has plenty of cash in the bank, the pickup artist will still avoid this all-too-common exclamation as it includes far too many negative implications. Even if she’s aware the man has money, she’ll assume he’s cheap, or if she’s the high-maintenance type, she’ll probably disappear before he can turn around twice. If the ladies' man has no intention of springing for an expensive dinner or purchasing an expensive coat for his girl, he’ll deftly avoid the subject and steer the conversation in another direction. If you ever see a guy sit back in his chair after dinner and start whining about the bill, he ain’t no Player.

“Wanna f*ck?”

Despite popular opinion among feminists, the Player exhibits a certain amount of class and sophistication at all times. Not only is this ridiculous question crass and adolescent in nature, it also shows nothing in the way of tact and good breeding -- both of which are required traits for any legitimate ladies' man. On top of which, the observational and social talent of the Player allows him to accurately assess the situation; if she’s ready to go, he knows it. The transition from discussion to sex should be seamless and even wordless. At the same time, there’s no reason for any Player to ever ask for permission -- i.e., “May I kiss you now?” -- because it too is unnecessary. Some women may view the latter question as “sensitive” or “respectful,” but in reality it only shows a lack of confidence and understanding. The man in question is skilled in the art of seduction; such questions are beneath him.

“Sorry, I don’t have a condom”

Yeah, right. The Player who hits the night scene without a condom isn’t a Player at all. Some will immediately call this a misplaced sense of bravado or cockiness rather than confidence, but the truth of the matter is simple: A ladies' man can snag a lady at any given time. It doesn’t always happen in the standard, traditional locations; it could happen in an elevator, a parked car or a restaurant bathroom. Who knows? The point is, a Player is always prepared, and furthermore, he’s always safe. The lifestyle is appealing and exciting in a variety of different ways, but it can also be dangerous, and the responsible lover never says: “Nah, just forget the condom this one time!” He knows that “one time” could be his Waterloo, and because he ultimately respects every woman in the bedroom, he wouldn’t risk her well-being either.

Player Banter

If you ever hear a man say any of these five things, you can toss the “Player” label right out the window. Even the best of us slip up at times, but believe it or not, the pickup artist abides by a very strict set of rules that isn’t negotiable. The world of the Player is far more meticulous and carefully crafted than it is vibrantly chaotic.

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