How Tiger Screwed All Men

How Tiger Screwed All Men

The Tiger Woods Backlash Every Married Man Must Endure

He’s back and all is well once again in the world of golf. Or so it would seem given the warm reception Tiger Woods received as he walked up to the tee at Augusta National to begin his quest for a fifth Masters title. Tiger might be back on the golf course, but the average married man is probably still in the rough. Tiger’s troubles have raised the specter of infidelity, and that's hit a raw nerve in many marriages -- and the backlash for rocky marriages is even more substantial. The golf world may have forgiven him, but men shouldn’t be so quick to overlook what he has done to his family. The repercussions of his actions will have to be endured by many married men for some time to come.

 

She now thinks the male libido is abnormal

Going into rehab for sexual indiscretions has never been a plausible excuse for why men cheat. Most consider sex addiction and rehab treatment to be a lot of voodoo psychotherapy. Men like sex. So do women. Whom you have it with is a choice, and the whole idea of a man using the reasoning that he is addicted to sex and, therefore, must cheat on his wife has become more about hiding out until everyone and their lawyer can get the storyline straight. This was never more clear then when South Park spoofed Tiger’s rehab sessions as a cataclysm of sexual healing for America. Funny and sarcastic? On South Park, yes, but in the real world many women now think all men have abnormal sex drives that will cause them to stray. Thanks a lot, Tiger.

She will always be suspicious of texts

If your own marriage is filled with doubt then you’ll likely find your lovely wife looking at you sternly when your phone rings at an odd hour. She’ll stare at the number and wonder who it might be (and you will do the same when her phone rings). Text messaging was already getting a bad rap with teenagers sexting one another in school. Now, however, she’ll wonder if you’re doing what Tiger did. Then again, if you have more than one phone like Tiger she probably should be suspicious.

She will always be suspicious of trashy venues

If you once frequented Vegas or the local strip joint with your buddies for a guys' night on the town, you’d better start to like staying in because the closest you’ll get to an all-nighter with the boys is watching The Hangover -- again. Nights at adult clubs were suspect anyway, but Tiger crossed the line so egregiously that what she might have tolerated as “look but don’t touch” venues are now brothels in her mind. Perhaps Tiger should start a college fund for all the dancers whose tips have dropped off since last November.

She now knows men secretly desire trashy women

She’s always thought you were better than all the other primitive men out there; after all, that’s why she picked you. However, now that Tiger Woods, a man with more money and an impossibly beautiful Swedish wife, has been caught chasing porn stars and trashy lounge women on the PGA tour, let alone bringing them into his own home for sex after a quick stop for Subway sandwiches, you have little chance of being her knight in shining armor anytime soon if your eye has been wandering. She now knows that no matter how trashy the woman may be, men will look. This is yet another Tiger Woods backlash every married man must endure.

She will not let you off easy

If you are stupid enough to cheat she won’t be the stoic politician’s wife. Not now. Now she has Elin Nordegren to emulate and you don’t have the fame, money and influence to walk in the side door of the hospital when she lets loose on you with your golf clubs, tennis racket or baseball bat sitting in the garage. She won’t be standing near you in public, and don’t even think about using the flimsy excuse of sex rehab because if Elin isn’t going to sit in group therapy with Tiger to save his sorry butt then neither will she. Tiger might be mending his ways with the golf press and the public with lunches at Augusta and creepy ads with his deceased father’s voice, but Elin is not even in the country. So, Tiger might be back on the links and you might go back to work too if you cheat, but she won’t let you forget it -- and she shouldn’t.

 

 

 

the tiger woods backlash

No one can forget what Tiger has done. Forever there will be women with more stories to tell about late-night meetings, text messages and cell phone calls. If you liked him before the Thanksgiving 2009 revelations, then you’ll like him once more and proclaim him to be a golfer of ultimate focus in a time of personal tragedy. If you hate Tiger Woods, then you’ll be appalled at the way the sports media will revel in the rise of Tiger 2.0, reborn from his private transgressions and in touch once again with Buddhism -- whatever that has to do with cheating and lying to your wife. Tiger may go on to greater golf success but the backlash on married man won’t subside any time soon. Maybe, just maybe, all schmucks everywhere with less money and fame should thank Tiger for being so stupid. His poor judgment is a reminder of what all married men have at stake if they cheat too.

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Dictionary of Men’s Sayings

Dictionary of Men’s Sayings

“I’M GOING FISHING.”
“I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a lake with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“IT’S A GUY THING.”
“There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR.”
Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN.”
“I have no idea how it works or what I’m trying to explain.”

“WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE.”
“Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
“Are you still talking?”

“IT’S A REALLY GOOD MOVIE.”
“It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women.”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
“I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle identification Numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.”
“The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”
“I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt.”

“HEY I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”
“And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
“It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
“What did you catch me at? Which time?”

“I HEARD YOU.”
“I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”

“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
“I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”

“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
“Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving.”

“I’M NOT LOST I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
“No one will ever see us alive again.”

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Tips And Other Good Advice For Guys

Tips And Other Good Advice For Guys

1)      From this day forward for the rest of your life, focus on building and strengthening your personal character.  Your personal character is the foundation upon which all other life successes are built.  Just as a home needs a strong foundation, so does your entire life.  Start by reading the thirteen virtues of Benjamin Franklin.

2)      Get an education.  I have some pretty strong and unorthodox views about education in America.  There are a million reasons to get a college education.  You probably know them all already.  It is never too late to educate yourself.   Even if you’re an old geezer, you can benefit from educating yourself.  The one thing that people really overlook in this area is the value in getting an education outside of a normal public college or university.   If you apply yourself, you can learn the equivalent of a college bachelor’s degree in one year or less by ruthlessly studying the subject at hand on your own time.  If you want to learn about something bad enough, you can learn it very quickly.

3)      Marry the right woman.   The woman you choose to spend the rest of your life will have the single most influence on your level of happiness throughout life.  Find a woman with a strong moral foundation that matches your own.  Give your heart to her.  Then live the rest of your life as a team.  Treat her as a man should.  Respect her and love her.

4)      Get organized.  I know plenty of guys who have all the potential in the world, yet can’t seem to get on track.   One thing that is always lacking is their organizational skills.  Get your ass organized.   Get your home organized.  Make it neat, clean and tidy.  Get your financial affairs organized.  Do you have a real retirement plan?  Do you really?  How many more years are you going to be doing what you are doing right now as your primary source of income?  You’ve hear the phrase before.  Nobody plans to fail.  They just fail to plan.

5)      Discipline yourself.  If you can force yourself to get up early every single day and go workout, then you already have one of the essential tools of success in life.  You have discipline.  If you can walk away from closing a deal on your new car because the salesman won’t drop the price another $200, then you have discipline.  You need discipline in every area in life.  If you have enough self discipline, you are essentially gauranteed success in any area of life.

6)      Find a way to profit from doing something that you would willingly do for free.  Then build yourself a little business around it.  Haven’t you always wanted to be in business for yourself?  See where it goes.  There are few things as rewarding as making money doing something that is so enjoyable that you would do it for free.  In my case it is writing.  I enjoy writing so much that I would do it even if no one ever read it and I never made a dime from it.  Fortunately, I found a way to write and actually make a little money from it.

7)      Seek your own spirituality.   I don’t care what religion you decide to prescribe yourself to.   There is an inherent need in every man to find his soul.  Don’t overlook this one.  I don’t care if you choose to be an atheist.  I can guarantee you that if you start asking yourself some deep questions; ultimately you will discover that you do in fact have a soul.  It is impossible to miss once you begin looking for it.  No man can call himself an atheist who has seriously considered these questions.   There is plenty of room for both science and religion.  If you don’t think so, it is because you haven’t done enough of your own independent research.

8)      Start getting healthy today regardless of your age or condition.  Getting healthy will pay you dividends for the rest of your life.  Cut down on the booze a little bit.  Clean the crap out of your kitchen cupboards.  Give up the god damn cigarettes.  Who the hell can afford to smoke the things anyway?  Start taking some supplements, eating your vegetables and getting a little exercise.

9)      Explore some of the finer things in life.  Learn to appreciate art.  Learn to appreciate the brilliance of the great composers like Bach and Mozart.  Learn to open up your heart to absorb all of the messages that artists are trying to convey through these alternative channels of communication.  Listen to some other types of music that you would normally turn off immediately.  Give them a chance.  You might discover something about yourself.




10)   Volunteer for some non-profit organization.  You will get an unbelievable feeling of satisfaction by working with other people to achieve a goal of helping out some less fortunate person.   You don’t need to make money every second of the day.  It really feels good to give back a little bit for no reason other than to help your fellow man.

11)   Take a more proactive role in managing your own personal finances.  It is fine to work with a professional financial advisor.  However, you must ask yourself if you truly understand the plans.  Who made these plans?  Why are you doing what you are doing?  There are very few things that will be as personally and financially rewarding as taking an active role in building your own wealth.  You should be at the helm of that ship.  Chances are, right now you are really relying on someone else to see that you reach your financial goals.  It’s time you took charge.  Remember, it is your money, they work for you.   Learn how compound interest can make you rich.

12)   Quit your friggen' whining.  Is there something you’ve been whining about lately at home or at work?  Quit your friggen' whining and do something about the problem.  Whining and complaining is such a waste of time.  Why waste the energy by magnifying the problem?  Instead you should be saying “Okay, It is what it is. Now what am I going to do about it?”

13)   Study history.  I hope you don’t find learning about history to be boring.  There are so many lessons and so much wisdom you can gain from studying history.  People who don’t study history are easily fooled by modern politicians.  These politicians can sway you to believe something that simply isn’t true.  They prey on your lack of history knowledge and try to use seemingly logical explanations to get you to support a bullshit idea.  Don’t fall for it.




14)   Take a more active role in how your government is being run.   You should be paying attention on a local level as well as a national level.   So few people vote that when you cast your vote it actually counts for many people.  Educated, intelligent voters like you and I are far more likely to make better decisions than the “sheeple” out there.  Whether or not you agree with my political views is immaterial.   Try to ignore party lines for a minute and just decide which politician appears to be lying the least.  Whose lies are bigger?  What long term implications will this decision have for us all?

15)   Make yourself a good role model for children.   If you feel like you have your shit together, then you owe it to the next generation to help educate and guide them.  Help steer them away from doing some of the more stupid things you did growing up.  If they hear the right advice from enough of the right people, some of it is bound to sink in.  If you’ve got tattoos on your face, then stay the hell away from any kids you stupid bastard.

16)   Build friendships with people who make you a better person.  Hang out with people that bring out your best.  You don’t need to abandon your old friends like everyone else tells you to.  Just realize that maybe you need to alter those relationships a little bit in order to make room for people that are bringing out the best in you.  If you’re lucky, your old friends are already doing that.

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10 Ways To Be A More Manly Man

10 Ways To Be A More Manly Man

Well men, I've asked a variety of women about the ten best characteristics that makes a man more manly and a pattern started to emerge. There is really quite an array of characteristics that can define manliness but, as every man's "taste" in women is different, so are women's "tastes" in men.

1. Confidence-Honestly, confidence is number one for a reason. Girls generally don't think men are manly if they don't have any confidence and even guys that are total dweebs, in many cases, can still attract gals by displaying this characteristic. Ways that guys can better gain and have confidence is by being happy about who you are and just being yourself (as cheesy as it sounds).
2. Sense of Humor-Girls just downright tend to think funny guys are generally more masculine, a lot more masculine then us guys would think, mind you. Girls like to be entertained by cute, funny guys so by having some funny characteristics, girls may think you're masculine even if you've never hit the weight room in you're life.
3. Showering/Smell-OK, you've gotta smell good for the ladies, or things just won't work out. If the first or second thing a girl notices about you is your stench, then all is lost. By showering everyday, wearing some deodorant, etc., you can not lose masculinity, unless that girl likes your bodily odor.
4. Exercise-Girls generally think guys that work out, up to a point, are more masculine. Running and swimming usually doesn't cut it (sorry Michael Phelps), but this is a category that girls generally don't give to big of a hoot about. Some girls liked a ripped upper body and others don't so you're best bet really is to just be yourself and do occasional exercise. Confidence can make up for this area in leaps and bounds sometimes.
5. Appearance-The facial expression and appearance of a guy is a big determining factor of whether a guy looks "masculine" or not. Honestly, this characteristic varies even more then the last, catering to each individual girl. Some common ways to look more manly don't have to include looks that are tough or display amazing strength, but smiling and being happy are great for many occasions.
6. Respectful-This is one of the most important skills to learn and use to be more manly. A real man respects women and treats them as princesses, and yes, most women would like the opposite sex to view and treat them as such. Southern hospitality is one of the most manly characteristics a guy can display at times, even if its just opening a door for a girl. Seriously, respect is utterly important and shouldn't have to be built up but most guys need to learn it, sadly.
7. Goal Oriented-A lot of women don't like to be with guys that aren't going anywhere. Having goals and sticking, moderately, to them makes a girl feel more secure and think more seriously about a guy. Again, some girls like to live on the edge and don't really care, but a lot of women do. Having goals generally can help a guy look more masculine.
8. Listening Skills-Right up with respect, truly listening to women is a key to not only trivial things like looking masculine, but listening to women can save marriages, help gain lasting bonds and friendships, and can help you find the right girl for you. Listening to a woman shows her you care and will sacrifice some time to totally devote yourself to what she thinks and has to say. Every woman I know says that this characteristic is important.
9. Hobbies-Once again, girls tend to like guys that are going somewhere in life and by "showing off" with hobbies, girls can get acquainted with and curious of guys. Some hobbies, obviously, are more attractive to some kind of women then others, but be yourself with what you do and the right girl will come along.
10. Sensitivity-Yes, having some amount of sensitivity makes men appear masculine to most women. We're not talking about crying all the way through a movie, but showing empathy and maybe tears once in a while (shock!). Overdoing it isn't good, but this is really a characteristic that a person can only really be himself about.

In the end, being masculine is mostly about being yourself and being happy about it. Even if you think you look like a loser doing something, the girl you're after might think you're cute doing it, especially if done with confidence. Listen, listen, listen to what a girl has to say and respect her, you can't go wrong with that. Those are 10 ways to be a more manly man.

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What Makes You A Manly Man?

What Makes You A Manly Man?

Today I asked a friend of mine the question, "What makes someone a 'Manly Man'?"

He simply responded with this: "For me...well... this morning I ate a steak for breakfast, this afternoon I washed my hands with diesal fuel before lunch, tonight I plan on curb checking a queer... and I love the smell of my own farts, I have shit in woods on multiple occasions and I can use the remote with either hand!"

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We all need a stool like this...

We all need a stool like this...

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