Social Networking Pickup Tips

Social Networking Pickup Tips

Want to widen your dating pool, but don’t feel like signing up for Match.com? Maybe you should simply try logging into your Facebook account instead.

Social sites can be used for more than networking and staying in touch with old friends -- they can help you score points with potential partners. With social networking spots, motives are murkier than on matchmaking sites and there’s less room for rejection. You can reconnect with that smoking hot girl from high school because of your shared roots, not because you’re both lonely and looking for love. Or, you can casually ask an online friend to introduce you to a gorgeous gal pal without putting too much on the line.

With sites such as MySpace and Facebook, matches emerge more organically because of shared backgrounds, friends and interests, says Jerry Kaplan, the former CEO of Egghead and founder of Winster.com, a free social network site for singles.

"The new generation of social network sites addresses this issue by offering shared social activities that create a comfortable environment in which to get to know other people without the heavy social pressure," Kaplan says.

Still, there is a fine line between broadening your horizons and going after every broad who pops up in your “People You May Know” box. Just like in the real-life dating world, approach and image are everything. Here are 10 tips for picking up women on social networks like a pro.

No.10 - Have a good profile picture

Resist the urge to use that photo of you doing a keg stand from college as your default picture. The same goes for any picture where you can’t tell which person you are, you look visibly drunk or you’re surrounded by Hooters girls.

Your ideal photo should be casual and “honest” rather than something overly posed -- you want it to be a true reflection of who you are. Also remember that your photo can be changed fairly frequently.

No.9 - Shape your image

View your profile as a first impression, and maintain a bit of mystery. Keep things simple by not posting tons of silly quizzes, boxes or widgets on your page, and avoid overwhelming it with a distracting or flashy background. Also, think about what you’re advertising. There are slots for several preferences and identifying factors on all social networking sites. Stay away from listing anything that could become a deal breaker for a woman right off the bat -- such as not wanting kids or not believing in marriage.

Another thing that has no place on your page is your ex. We know that social networking sites truly are a way for everyone to stay in touch, but it’s a little tacky to broadcast your friendly relationship with your former flame. Also, remove from your page anything that could be offensive or make you look like a tool. If your buddies write distasteful comments all over your wall, women are going to be turned off which is why there's a clever little "delete" button for all those comments to quickly disappear.

No.8 - Be interesting

We don’t have to tell you that people who constantly update their pages and profiles are annoying. However, a strategically timed or placed status message or vacation album may help your cause. You are allowed to boast a bit, so let it spill that you’re going on a Caribbean cruise or flying to Paris for business.

While it’s not cool to reveal too much about your social and dating life, it is OK to show you actually go out on weekends. Keep your updates vague by writing that you are “heading downtown.” This will make your potential partner wonder exactly where you’re off to -- and if maybe next time, she can join you.

No.7 - Join fan pages and interest groups

Joining several fan and group pages will take your dating pool to the next level. Connecting with a babe is good, but finding one that actually enjoys your favorite sports team, movie genre or comedian is even better.

An added bonus to joining groups is that they might organize local meets. You’ll be able to introduce yourself to one of the attractive female members in a non-awkward situation and ask her out in person, if you hit it off.

No.6 - Browse your friends' friends

A Harvard study recently found that 70% of time spent on Facebook involves looking at other people’s profiles, two-thirds of which belong to women. Join the "in" crowd by scrolling through your buddies’ friends lists, and then asking to be introduced to one (or a few) of the cute ones. You can also suggest the Friend Match, a Facebook application that lets people set up their friends. However, make sure you ask for the actual date over the phone, not via message or e-mail.

No.5 - Search your local network

Consider using the “search” feature on Facebook or the “browse” option on MySpace to seek out available ladies. Limit your research to people you might actually be able to meet rather than women on the other side of the world. You can narrow down your options by zip-code to keep them local.

No.4 - Look for upfront relationship statuses

Most people include a relationship status in their profiles. Simply put, avoid the women who don’t. Anyone who has “it’s complicated” or worse yet, doesn’t list a status at all, might have baggage -- or a crazy boyfriend -- you want no part of. Make sure you follow the rules in your own profile; list yourself as single and looking for a date or a relationship.

No.3 - Ask about her status updates

Does one of your lovely lady friends have a status update saying she had a bad day?  Consider sending her a private message and asking her what’s up. (Note: This is preferable to “poking” her.) Or, if she posts a cool link on her Twitter page, shoot over a quick reply telling her it was interesting. However, don’t do this too often; you’ll seem like a creep checking on her every move.

No.2 - Appear on her page infrequently

You obviously want to show interest, but women can smell desperation from a mile away. The less you post on her page, the better. It will make her realize you have a life outside of your social network. It will also show that she’s special enough to communicate with privately and not on her page for all to see.

No.1 - Use the chat feature

Many people forget about the chat feature on Facebook. If you want to get more one-on-one with your romantic interest, instant message her when she’s online. You can get an immediate response instead of waiting for her to reply to a message that might take her days to open.

Follow these suggestions, and you’ll be meeting women through your social networking sites in no time. Just remember to change your relationship status when you two are officially an item.  

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Facebook Players

Facebook Players

In this new age of rapid-fire communication via electronics, an individual like the Player can’t mindlessly adopt every new trend that comes along without considering the benefits and consequences. The likes of Facebook, MySpace and Twitter have allowed us all to keep tabs on one another, and while this can be used to the Player’s advantage, he must also use the same strategy he employs in other areas of his love life. It’s not about simply putting yourself out there to brag about your conquests (and reel in more); it’s about playing the field appropriately in a virtual landscape. This requires a surprising amount of maintenance and precision because even the slightest slip up can fly across the internet at shocking speeds -- much to your chagrin. One day, some random girl you’ve never met before and who claims to be “a friend of a friend of a friend” gives you a nasty look followed by the cold shoulder. We’re here today to avoid such frustration.

Not everything should be public knowledge

You do have plenty of control over your profile and what visitors can see, so it’s best to keep certain things private. Whether it’s Facebook or MySpace, you need to limit the scope of your personal experiences and lifestyle. Simply give visitors a taste without launching into some ill-advised relation of your latest escapade. One has to remember that the Player is discreet; he is not the loud-mouthed, obnoxious braggart who will tell anyone with functional ears just how many women he has picked up. This is adolescent behavior and the true ladies' man kisses and never tells. Now, virtual social services are dangerous because it may seem less personal; it may seem more private because you’re sitting alone with nothing but a screen in front of you. But it’s best to picture that screen as thousands of pairs of greedy eyes.

Not everyone gets full access

If you’re familiar with the communication services talked about here, you know you can give people varying degrees of access to your page. If you prefer, you can keep some of the more sensitive material under wraps and only provide full access to those you trust -- those who won’t take that information and use it for malicious purposes. People you just met last weekend -- especially females -- should only get basic access, which merely includes a few photos, the essential information and maybe a simple anecdote or two. All it does is explain more about you; it doesn’t open the vault and let perfect strangers into the furthest recesses of your mind and memories. But you’ll also have safe bets in your little black book, such as Player-loving women who have proved to be equally discreet and always appreciative of your charms. They deserve to see all of that MySpace page.

No online stalking

There’s something to be said for being able to visit someone’s Facebook page and learning more about them (after all, that’s the purpose of such a service), but this can easily trip over the line into virtual stalking if you’re not careful. Again, because there’s a lack of personality when it comes to a computer screen, it’s easy to assume you aren’t doing anything wrong; when in fact, what you’re doing is downright creepy. It’s not that far removed from watching the woman’s house or rifling through her mail. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, and the “stalking” aspect is more indirect as the stalker is never actually seen (ideally), but that doesn’t make it acceptable. If you’re one of those guys who thinks that all you need is a virtual profile and an e-mail address to get a woman’s attention, you had best reassess and flex some real social muscle at the club. If you’re rejected, it’s over. Don’t keep visiting her MySpace page. Seriously.

Friends aren’t always “friends”

There’s a strange trend floating around in the virtual universe. It seems like every last human a person crosses gets added to his or her "friends" list. In fact, to say you have a bigger friends list than anyone you know is like a badge of honor -- except that when you don’t even know the last name of 90% of those “friends,” it’s just an illusion. Be selective. The more selective you are, the less you have to worry about certain information suddenly circulating around the local bars and clubs, thereby casting you in an unsavory light. If you’d rather not go to the trouble of limiting access to your profile and you’re a big fan of loading up your favorite virtual spaces, then you absolutely must restrict your friends list to "real" friends. Recent conquests only qualify if they become legitimate bed buddies.

Keep your “Tweets” under control

Essentially, Twitter is like a public IM. You have the space for 140 characters to let everyone know what you’ve done, what you’re doing or what you’re going to do. The Player often wonders why this holds such fascination for people, but the bottom line is that “Tweets” are now a part of the communication world. But while you might find it amusing to post something insulting or degrading concerning a certain female who has recently snubbed you, resist the urge. If you really have to divulge sensitive information, Twitter is the last place you should turn to. Keep that information restricted to the appropriate venues (say, personal conversations with friends). In general, it might be a good idea to avoid Tweeting about girls you’re currently dating, because they frown on such public exposure.

The new rules

Social networking online is huge these days, but it’s easy to get in over your head. Keep a careful eye on the virtual proceedings, and also, be sure to pay attention to your onscreen reputation. News carries faster than ever, and if you make a mistake, dozens -- even hundreds -- could know about it within seconds. So control, maintain, update with caution, and use all that feedback you might find on MySpace and Facebook to your advantage.

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