Winning An Argument With Your G-friend

Winning An Argument With Your G-friend

The basic rule for coming out on top in a dispute with your significant other — don’t be a jerk. Here’s how to keep yourself in check.

You are going to get into it with your significant other every so often. It’s no fun for either party, but as a man, I’m willing to concede that it’s even less fun for men. Why? Because women can express their emotions like it’s nobody’s business. And guys? Not so much.

And since women already have the upper hand, I thought it only fair to share a few tricks to help you emerge victorious from battle … or at least with fewer scars than usual.

Don’t Tell Her to “Relax”

There is nothing more inflammatory than the r-word. Especially when it’s flippantly thrown in the face of a woman who is already on her last good nerve. And since it’s impossible to rationally discuss an issue with a red-eyed, fire-breathing dragon (which is pretty much what I turn into whenever a guy says that word to me), I urge you to avoid this expression and any variation of it — settle down, take it easy, etc. — at all costs.

 

Talk In the First Person

Instead of saying something like, “You don’t appreciate me,” try, “I feel like I’m not being heard when …” or “I don’t feel appreciated when …” It may seem like a small thing, but sentences that start with “I” sound much less accusatory than ones that start with “you.” And when your girlfriend doesn’t feel like she’s being verbally attacked, she’ll be more open to hearing what you have to say. And that may even lead to her apologizing. Maybe.

Leave Your Friends’ Opinions Out of It

Every woman’s greatest fear in life, aside from dating an axe murderer and the possibility that her daily non-fat latte actually contains lard, is getting stuck with the “crazy” label. So even if all of your buddies think that she’s being totally ridiculous for demanding expecting you to do something like text her while you’re hanging out with them, she doesn’t need to know they think she’s nuts. A) They’re your friends, so of course they’re going to have your back. B) Telling her will only make her feel awkward around the friends you name the next time she sees them. And C) It’s guaranteed to drag your argument into overtime — and that severely damages your chances of coming out on top.

Don’t Make Empty Threats

The United States of America does not respond kindly to threats, and neither does your girlfriend. So if you give her an ultimatum —“Unfriend your ex and quit following him on Twitter or we’re so done” — you better be prepared to follow through. Women are nasty mental ninjas who will call your bluff, which will either force you to follow through and leave, or back down with your balls in hand.

Fib If You Need To

File this tip away, because if you don’t need it soon, you’ll definitely find use for it down the road. When a woman gives you the stink-eye and hisses, “You don’t even know what you did, do you?” Lie. Nod your head, and ask her if she wants to talk about it, or if she needs time to cool off. It’s like those “Need a moment?” Twix commercials — she’ll be so caught off guard by your response that she’ll falter, giving you a few precious seconds to rack your brain, identify your offense, and get a stronger game plan in order.

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Open Relationships...

Open Relationships...

Persuade Her To Have An Open Relationship

• Better Man in brief ...
• For an open relationship to work, both parties have to be keen on the idea.
• To sell the concept, you need to focus on how she will benefit.
• Make sure she knows it is only about sex, as emotional infidelity is more of a concern for her.

"Often, the best sexual communication occurs outside of the bedroom..."

You make her No. 1, but you don’t want her to be the only one. Open relationships offer sexual variety with other people, which immediately sells you on the idea, but what about your girlfriend? Having an open setup could result in the relationship breaking up. Hey, some relationships just don’t make it once they’ve tried the open road. If you have breakup on your mind, perhaps ending the relationship is your best bet rather than suggesting you widen the playing field a little.

However, if you want to keep your relationship a priority in your life, but you just want to have some new experiences, perhaps you’ll be one of the lucky ones who finds that bringing outsiders into your relationship will add some spark to it.  It’s good to bear in mind that for an open relationship to work, both parties have to be keen on the idea. When trying to awaken your girlfriend’s interest in open relationships, here are some ways to go about it.

1- Plant the idea

Instead of focusing on your needs, let her be introduced to the idea of open relationships in a more objective way. During a hot night together, why not suggest renting an erotic movie or two? Choose movies that involve threesomes and try to find quality porn that has a bit of a story line if possible, especially since a huge chunk of erotic films out there are not always liked by women. (Note: Avoiding porn that features facials or other acts she’ll view as degrading is also a must.)
Watching a steamy flick together won’t only add some spice to your sex life now, but it could also make her turned on by what she sees, thereby planting an idea in her mind that she might want to take further.

2- Encourage the fantasy

Now it’s up to you to encourage her wildest dreams. Often, the best sexual communication occurs outside of the bedroom, so take some time to share your erotic fantasies with your girlfriend and let her do the same. This is a great way to nurture trust in your relationship, but it also encourages her fantasies to become reality. For instance, if she tells you that she has previously fantasized about sex with another person, hear her out and encourage her to describe it to you. Once her mind is open to the thoughts, her body is more likely to follow.

"Find the good things that an open relationship can bring to your lives."

3- Hang out with swingers

Taking things to the next step can involve hitting some swingers’ clubs to meet swingers who are fun, young females. Your girlfriend will see that the act of meeting and picking up swingers is definitely not the same as asking someone out on a date. There’s no trying to get swingers interested in who you are; rather, it’s all about having a sexual experience and then moving on to others. Period. This is sure to put your girlfriend’s mind at ease: Swinging is carefree and noncommittal. You leave your emotions at the door while gaining sexual stimulation.

The bonus? There’s no guilt of going behind your partner’s back or betraying them with your cheating ways because it’s all out in the open.

4- Sell the benefits

One of the biggest mistakes men make when suggesting an open relationship to their girlfriends is that they focus on what they want and completely forget that she has to be on the same page for it to work.

But if a salesman is going to sell you a new body lotion, he’s not only going to tell you what its benefits are, he’s also going to show you how it’s better than the current one you’re using. So, when discussing open relationships with your girlfriend, focus on how the change to your relationship can benefit you both more than your current setup. For instance, she can still reap the benefits of your current relationship, but she doesn’t have to feel sexually limited; she can take that career opportunity overseas without carrying the emotional baggage of the relationship. Find the good things that an open relationship can bring to your lives. If she sees this for herself, she’s more likely to become interested in giving it a try.

5- Make it about sex

It has been said that when it comes to infidelity, women are more likely to have emotional affairs whereas men focus on the sexual satisfaction. This backdrop of information shows you the glaring truth: Often, women will associate sex with something more emotional, or they think that sex will lead to love. This could be the undercurrent that is preventing your girlfriend from wanting an open relationship as her fears could include the thought that you’re going to be falling in love with the new women you’re sexual with.

be open

You have to nip this one in the butt, guys. Ensure she knows your relationship is the sexual and emotional priority -- the main act. All extras in the movie are there for purely sexual adventures. If you keep the emotional stuff out of the equation, she will not see it as a threat, and the good times can keep on, er, coming.



Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships
Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships
Eyes Wide Open: Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity

 

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Women's Body Issues:

Women's Body Issues:

Women's Body Issues: Their Fault Not Ours

• Better Man in brief ...
• Women's desires to approximate a model-size ideal causes issues -- not men.
• Men like a woman with a little meat on her, so go ahead, ladies: eat up.
• Ultimately, people should strive for healthy weights -- neither too skinny nor too fat.

"Many women believe it is men who force the ideal of the size-three figure on a woman, but it’s not -- it’s other women."

’Tis the season for peace, joy and weight gain. After Christmas and New Years, we will all jiggle a bit more. Women will feel like kicking themselves for their weight gain and will suffer from self-loathing that lasts long past the chocolate free-for-all of Easter.

What women don’t know is that many men get Yule logs in their pants when they see extra curves on the ladies. Did any of us really swear off Jessica Simpson when she gained a few extra pounds after her divorce? Sure, Kirstie Alley blew up too far to handle, and she was looney-tunes long before the weight gain anyway. Still, a little meat on a woman is sexy.

Weight and sexual attraction

There was a beautiful woman in my office that every man lusted after. She was one of those women who never saw herself as attractive, which gave her a great personality without the usual inferiority issues. She had perfect curves, large but not unmanageable breasts, and I often thought of how delightful it would be to hold onto her ass as I did her doggie style. That’s just the romantic in me. When she got divorced, another woman told me that this goddess admitted to having a crush on me. I had one of those “should-seek-medical-help” erections for days even without Viagra.

Her divorce crushed her and she started losing weight. Her breasts shrank, her hips and butt disappeared and, as became more and more able to hide behind a broom handle, my sexual desire for her disappeared. She was just too skinny.

While clothes hide a few extra pounds on a person, with the exception of muffin-top hip-huggers and too-small midriff-showing tops, the same can be said for women who are too skinny. I once had a woman appear nude and willing out of my bathroom, but the sight of her ribs and bony hips turned me off. I quickly came up with an excuse to keep from having sex with her. To this day, I don't think she ever believed I turned gay while she was disrobing in the bathroom.

Women’s body issues come from other women

Many women believe it is men who force the ideal of the size-three figure on a woman, but it’s not -- it’s other women. As comedienne Carol Leifer wrote for a Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George ask Elaine how women torture each other if not by giving wedgies, she replies: “We just tease her about a body part until she develops an eating disorder.”

If you want the truth, ask a comedian. It’s advertising and fashion that lie. Are those male-dominated? Well, fashion is, but I doubt that most male designers really have much more than a professional interest in women's breasts and asses. The women’s publications are not run or written by men -- and in a recent Marie Claire blog post, a female writer penned a brutal review of the show Mike & Molly for daring to show overweight people on TV. That show, meanwhile, has actually climbed to the top of the CBS lineup. The viewing public speaks.

Maura Kelly: case in point

Maura Kelly, the Marie Claire author who attacked television "fatties," has a profile picture that makes her look like the type of woman who shows up to a second date wearing a wedding dress with mascara ready to smear into tears at a man shocked at the thought of such a commitment. She writes: “While I think our country's obsession with physical perfection is unhealthy, I also think it's at least equally crazy, albeit in the other direction, to be implicitly promoting obesity. Yes, anorexia is sick, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny.”

"I'm sure daddy, like this woman’s father, loved them, gave them hugs and called them "My Princess," which caused further personality problems of a different sort."

She went further into the zone of insensitive stupidity by continuing, “to be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine [sic] addict slumping in a chair.”

It was only after 3,971 shocked and angry comments appeared in response to the piece that Ms. Kelly admitted to being an anorexic. (Most probably a “plump girl” who hated herself into lifelong sickness?) She admitted to anorexia but has probably kept the bulimia hidden deep in her “fat clothes closet.” I have dated that type. Note the past tense. It will stay that way.

Women, accept yourselves

Ms. Kelly, to her credit (or her willingness to bend to public humiliation, depending on how truthful you wish to be), wrote an update fumbling to explain her thoughts. A passage in her bio: “Though she's in her 30s, she's never been in love before -- and has started to wonder if she ever will be. She's decided she has to start making dating her job if it's ever going to happen,” says it all. Ms. Kelly, it won’t happen unless you learn to like donuts, Chinese buffets and -- more than anything else -- yourself for what you are.

Ms. Kelly, however, is not the only screwed-up woman in a position to be heard by gullible girls. After working for two years at a fashion magazine, I was shocked by how the female staff, all former models, treated each other. The competition to fit into the teensy clothing samples submitted by fashion designers for article reviews was fierce, and the women were passive-aggressively cruel to each other. And not always passively. These were the ones who were heard as the voices of the “modern woman.” They also had incredible food issues.

When I started dating one of the tall, lean fashion editors, I was quickly perplexed by her need to spend four hours in the gym every day. We went away for a long weekend and her one “must-have” was a place with a gym. She explained she couldn’t miss a day at the gym and her first love, the Stairmaster, or she would go into depression. Her other addiction was to about 20 pounds of carrot sticks daily.

Men are not to blame

It wasn’t until I met her parents and her mother showed me a high school photo of her daughter that I realized her problem. My girlfriend hadn't been fat in high school -- she was healthy, but still thought herself “too fat” due to the fashion magazines she worshiped, with articles by the likes of Ms. Kelly -- closeted freaks that cut themselves because mommy told them to not eat so many potatoes at dinner. I’m sure daddy, like this woman’s father, loved them, gave them hugs and called them “My Princess,” which caused further personality problems of a different sort.

Women are crushed by societal pressure for an ideal of “beauty.” Fake breasts, puffed-up lips, collagen injections and anus bleaching -- a woman should never bleach her anus due to the ideals of  beauty; she should just do it to make her feel good about herself.

eat up, ladies

Being healthy is important. Any person who can’t walk up a flight of stairs without having a heart attack has a problem. Clothes that are a size (or five) too small for your figure look sloppy. If a value-meal at McDonald’s is considered an appetizer, then there is an eating disorder. We should all strive to be thin enough to be healthy, but you won’t find me complaining if you’re built for comfort instead of speed. Have a merry Christmas, ladies, and have a good helping of turkey, stuffing and dessert. There are many of us men who will help you work it off... Well, maybe ;-(


 PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals Women's T-shirt, (Many Colors) Funny Womans T-shirt, Medium, Black
Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too
CK Products Brown Expression Cooking Apron "15 ExcUnited Stateses For Eating Chocolate . . . "
Henry Jaglom's Eating - A Very Serious Comedy About Women and Food
Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds

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#1 Reason To Hide The Remote

#1 Reason To Hide The Remote

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Herpes and More

Herpes and More

herpes symptoms

I have been seeing a girl for some time now and I recently found Acyclovir in her medicine cabinet. Now I know what Acyclovir is -- my boy in college had to take it, poor guy. Anyway, so I asked her about it and she told me that it's for her lips.

Now I thought it was used for herpes, and I thought that herpes 1 or 2 can be spread. So let's say, if she performs oral sex on me (which she already has) that I could get herpes. Am I way off base here? Dear Lord, I hope so. When I found the bottle, I had a small heart attack, so please let me know either way so I can do something about it.

Anonymous Reader

Hi there,

Your thinking was right: Acyclovir is used to treat herpes. While it will not cure herpes infections, it does decrease the irritation associated with them and encourages healing.

Acyclovir, however, can be used as a treatment for other conditions. It is sometimes prescribed to those suffering from chicken pox, shingles or mononucleosis. It can also be used to counter leukoplakia, a viral infection that produces a white or gray patch on the surface of the body. Leukoplakia usually develops in the mouth, but can occur on the female genitalia.

While there's no cure for herpes, it doesn't pose a danger to most who contract it. It's a chronic condition; a nuisance to live with, but one you can live with nonetheless. Of course, none of this is to suggest that it is a desirable condition. Have a sit-down with your girlfriend and find out exactly what she's suffering from -- don't torture yourself any further by leaving it to your imagination.

TMS

you missed a spot

I am a 23-year-old male who was circumcised as a child. However, I still have a piece of foreskin that is attached to the base of my penis. It does not hurt, except for the times when I have long periods of sex or masturbation. I would say about 5% of the foreskin is still attached and 95% is not. Is this normal? Could this potentially lead to any health problems? Do you think I should have doctor take look at this?

If you could let me know, that would be great. Thanks for your help.

Anonymous II

Hello,

Like all surgical procedures, circumcision isn't foolproof. It is pretty close, though; for every 1,000 circumcisions performed, it is estimated that only two result in complications. For that unlucky 0.2%, the ensuing problems can vary widely in terms of pain and lifestyle disruption.

On one end of the scale, a circumcision can go severely awry, resulting in infection, a bending of the penis, the development of cysts at the incision site, or even an inadvertent amputation of the glans, or head, of the penis. So, while it's unfortunate that you fell into that minute 0.2% percentage, you can consider yourself lucky that you escaped with only an incomplete circumcision.

You may still, however, be at risk of developing further complications. Incomplete circumcision can sometimes lead to phimosis, a narrowing of the foreskin opening. It's never too late to have that circumcision completed properly, so book an appointment with your urologist and have him see what he can do about it.

TMS

a red flag

Just today during one of my daily urinations my pee was a brownish color, and naturally this took me by surprise and I was a bit worried. Halfway through my duties, thick, snot-like, bloody chunks came out.

I'm afraid it might be an STD, and don't know what to do. I didn't know who else to ask about this.

Anonymous III

Hello,

There's obviously a problem here. For further specifics, however, you'll have to visit a health care professional.

Blood in the urine, or hematuria, can be caused by many conditions, most of which are happily not serious ones. A simple urinary tract infection, or even a spirited bout of exercise, can produce red blood cells in the urine. Unhappily, hematuria can also be indicative or more worrisome conditions, such as kidney disease.

The fact that you're also encountering solids in your urine stream will help a doctor reach an accurate prognosis -- this combination of symptoms can be indicative of a number of specific conditions. Go see your doctor as soon as you can.

TMS

closet case?

Every time my boyfriend and I have sex, he always insists on playing with my butt -- with his fingers, penis, toys, etc. One time during foreplay, he suggested I play with his butt too using the toy -- which at that time got me excited cause I felt like I was in control. Anyway, it became part of our play every time we would have sex -- to the point where he had me wear a strap-on, so I can do him in the butt! At the time I thought that was sexy! However, lately, it's kinda grossing me out and somehow it's making me think that he might be gay.

He always wants me to wear the strap-on so I can do him in the butt while he licks a dildo or sometimes he has me lick the dildo while he pretends to masturbate my strap-on. And the thing is, he hardly penetrates me, we always just finish off using our toys doing all this kinky stuff; we're always just masturbating each other using our sex toys. Might he be gay?

Anonymous IV

Hi,

Yes, it's possible that your boyfriend's gay. It's also possible that he's simply developed a taste for having his male G-spot, or prostate gland, stimulated, and he wouldn't be the first guy to do so. Many men have difficulties broaching the stigma of anal stimulation, and can't get past the misplaced idea that enjoying anal play somehow exposes them as a homosexual. It's likely that your boyfriend is just sexually secure enough to pursue the pleasure that anal play gives him without fear of its negative connotations.

I can understand, however, that his tendency to masturbate your strap-on might also produce some pings on your "gaydar." In any case, it seems that his love of toys has grown into something of a fetish. This isn't a problem in and of itself, but it certainly can be when it detracts from one partner's enjoyment of sex. Sit him down, and set him straight (no pun intended).

TMS

leaky faucet

I have read many of your articles and find them very informative. I hope you will be able to provide me with some advice. I'm a 27-year-old male, in good health, average height, and slightly underweight. For as long as I can remember, I have had the following problems:

1- After urination, my penis continues to leak (small amounts) urine for a couple of minutes. This makes it very difficult to use a urinal in the men's room because I have to stand around for a couple minutes after urinating in order to make sure it has stopped leaking. So, I usually try to use the toilet so I can use several bathroom tissues to "wipe" the leaks after I finish urinating. Therefore, it always takes me a couple of extra minutes in the bathroom just to urinate.

2- After ejaculation, I continue to leak (small amounts) of semen. I've also noticed that the volume of my ejaculation is not that much. But the leaking lasts anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes after I ejaculate.

3- I can't seem to hold off ejaculation. It takes only one to two minutes before I ejaculate. I don't have a problem getting an erection. I can usually get a second erection within 30 minutes after ejaculating (even though I might still have small amounts of semen leaking at the tip of my penis).

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Anonymous V

Anon V,

The third problem that you describe is quite a common one, and you can find many strategies to deal with it on both AskMen.com and other websites. The first two, which seem related, will require more than home research to remedy.

A leaky penis could be as simple as a need to exercise your pubococcygeus (or PC) muscle, it may be the product of a tract infection, or it may even be a muscle or nerve problem that causes the bladder to release urine abnormally.

Diagnosing what the specific issue is usually involves a cystometry. I'll be frank with you: A cystometry isn't the most pleasant procedure. It can involve some rather intrusive techniques, such as the filling of the bladder with water or gas (to measure its retention abilities) or the insertion of a catheter into the rectum. But it's still usually preferable to the alternative, which is to let this frustrating condition persist.

TMS

nothing from nothing

In your anal sex tips, you mention that a guy should always wear a condom during anal sex to prevent getting an STD like HIV. What if neither partner has ever had an STD and we were both virgins when we met each other? Is there still a chance to get an STD from either anal sex or vaginal sex?

Anonymous VI

Hello,

If both partners have been tested and it has been established that neither has an STD, there is no possibility of transmission of an STD. For anal sex, you may still wish to use some lubricant, if only for your partner's comfort.

TMS 

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10 Things Men think Women like...

10 Things Men think Women like...

You are trying your hardest to make a good impression. You act in ways you think she'll like and you tell her what you think she wants to hear. But somehow, even your best efforts backfire.

Sound familiar?

Indeed, many guys behave in certain ways toward women because they think it will help their cause. They cry and profess their love to score a few extra points. But in fact, when taken to the extreme, these supposed "women-friendly" behaviors are sometimes the very things that will annoy her the most.

The following is a list of 10 such offenses that men commit regularly. They are all behaviors that women supposedly like, but unfortunately, they are often used in excess. So don't let your relationship go sour because of some petty misconceptions. With a quick read of the list below, you should have a clear idea of what to do -- and perhaps more importantly, what not to do -- in order to get her and keep her.

1. You call her too often

Why it will work against you: Incessant dialing is a major faux pas if you want to keep your dignity. It not only makes you look obsessive and dependent, but it can downright annoy her. If you are always on the other end of the phone, you lose your aura of mystery and independence that can be so intriguing.

What to do instead: For every two to three times you call her, she should be calling you at least once. Because of the old-world rules of courtship, you will inevitably be calling more often, but you should still make sure the calls are going both ways. Also, don't call during work hours or on Friday or Saturday nights.

2. You cry

Why it will work against you: You've heard time and time again that she wants a sensitive man, so you open the tear ducts every time she's around. Wrong. Crying makes you look too emotional and needy, possibly even unstable. She wants to be with someone who has an aura of strength and the capacity to protect her. But if you are constantly crying, your manly image is gone. Not to mention the annoyance factor: If you cry in public, she could be embarrassed, and that's the worst offense you can commit.

What to do instead: Unless something very tragic happened and your tears are genuine, ditch the crying act. Being sensitive to her needs is important, tears are not.

Smooching in public, always letting her decide and more relationship-busting offenses

3. You give her too much PDA

Why it will work against you: Rule No. 1: Never do anything to embarrass her publicly. And serenading, ogling and smooching her in public might do just that. Not only will she consider breaking up with you over it, she might also get pressure from friends and family to do so. The last thing you want is a bad rep with her crew as being possessive, cheesy or just plain silly.

What to do instead: Some women do indeed like a certain degree of PDA, but walk that line with care. Start with a peck in public and judge her reaction before proceeding to the public serenade.

4. You use baby talk and try to be cute

Why it will work against you: It is cheesy, kitschy, silly, nausea-inducing. Need I say more? Baby talk is for babies, so don't do it to her.

What to do instead: You are allowed to have the odd pet name and cute inside joke, but leave it at that. Unless she baby talks to you first and gives you a strong indication that she likes that kind of thing, do yourself a favor and ditch it entirely.

5. You are too accommodating

Why it will work against you: Yes, it's important to let her pick the movie once in a while. But if you are watching Dirty Dancing for the 11th time, you have a problem. While you need to be accommodating to some extent, you don't want to appear spineless. In particular, don't ask her permission to do things; that produces a mother-child dynamic, which is surely not what she is looking for in a relationship.

What to do instead: Take your spine back and show her that you are capable of making a decision. Pick the movie, the restaurant or the television show once in a while. After all, that's the basis of compromise -- sometimes she decides, sometimes you do.


6. You are too close with her family and friends

Why it will work against you: While she wants you to be friendly with her family and friends, she doesn't want you to jump the gun either. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, she'll want to make sure things are working between the two of you before bringing her family and friends into the mix.

What to do instead: Your relationship with her family and friends is something that has to develop over time. Be cordial and friendly, but don't go planning her brother's birthday party if you've only been together for a month.

7. You groom excessively

Why it will work against you: A woman generally doesn't want a man to spend more time grooming than she does. But perhaps more importantly, too much grooming will take away from your rugged, relaxed sex appeal. And believe me, that's so much more sexy on a man than a manicure.

What to do instead: Make sure you are clean and smell good, but ease up the facials and manicures; your sex appeal will skyrocket.

Use "I love you" sparingly, chill on the dance floor and lay off the constant chattering

8. You profess your love for her prematurely or too often

Why it will work against you: I know you probably think that the way to a woman's heart is through an "I love you." And you are not completely off base. But such a declaration made too early (or too often) will only freak her out. Not only that, but it puts you in an awfully vulnerable position if she doesn't say it back.

What to do instead: There is a time and place for everything. Don't say it because you think it will impress her; only say it when you mean it. And please, limit yourself to saying it a few times a week.

9. You "overdance"

Why it will work against you: Do you say things like, "I love to dance," or, "Let's go dancing tonight"? When she wants to leave a nightclub, do you find yourself saying, "Just one more song"? If you commit any of these offenses, then you are most certainly are overdancer. You are the extreme opposite of the "I don't dance" kind of guy and you are risking not being taken seriously. She might think you are avoiding buying her a drink or conversing with her at the bar. If all that is not enough, consider this: An overdancer tends to be smelly and sweaty by the end of the night.

What to do instead: Don't look so eager. She'll want you to dance some of the time, but you don't have to always be the instigator. Try to judge when she wants to dance and initiate dancing only half of the time. And don't forget to take breaks to buy her drinks.

10. You talk constantly

Why it will work against you: You might be a great talker, but if you can't be silent with her sometimes, then you need to listen up. Your incessant blabber is bound to annoy her sooner or later. Scratch that; it's probably already annoying her.

What to do instead: Although you've been taught to think that women like men who can talk and share, it goes both ways. Make sure you leave the floor open for her to talk too. Ask questions and don't forget to listen. And remember: sometimes silence is golden - watch what you do.

It might take some time and mental adjustment to rid yourself of these stereotypical notions of what women like. You've probably been told from birth that she'll like it if you sing to her accompanied by a six-piece band.

But the key here is moderation. You don't have to abandon any of the above behaviors entirely; just keep them low-key and you'll be fine. It's like with any good diet: Moderate all of the above behaviors, and every once in a while you can splurge on a public kiss without blowing it entirely.

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Valentine's Day Ideas

Valentine's Day Ideas

It is that time of year again, Valentine's day. Either a time to be happy in a relationship, or cursing all couples and love. Well, we have some suggestions for either situation.

Valentine's day is a special day once a year, when those in love are supposed to pay special attention to the one they love. The holiday is basically created by Hallmark, but who cares, it is great to spend a day and focus on your relationship and enjoying a day together. If you new and just beginning a relationship the pressure to find the best Valentine's day gift, can be stressful, but there are always a few simple gifts that work. Perfume and jewelry seems to be topping the Valentine's day gift list, so if you have no other ideas check the list and give some of the ideas a try.

If you are trying to come up with fun and unique ways to spend the day together, there are plenty of options. In fact many restaurants offer special Valentine's Day dinners. So if you have a favorite place you might want to check that out. If not, check this life of the best Valentine's date ideas. There are many great ideas on that list, I actually plan on using some of the suggestion found there this valentines. Just make sure whatever you do that both you and your partner will be having fun. On a special day like this there is no reason that you both shouldn't be happy.

If you aren't currently in a relationship don't worry we have some thoughts for non couples as well. Valentine's day can be rough if your single, and not always the easiest, luckily there is a list of Valentine's Day Ideas for Singles, to help you through the stupid commercial holiday.

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Keep Your Female Friend and...

Keep Your Female Friend and...

How To Keep Your Female Friend And Your Girlfriend

Having a female friend can bring many good things into your life. You can go to her for inside advice when the inner workings of your girlfriend’s mind are making you crazy. You can spend the evening with her when you aren’t in the mood for testosterone-fueled competition. She will be there for you when you need someone to talk to. Unfortunately, having a woman as a friend can also cause plenty of discord -- especially in your relationship with your girlfriend. How can you maintain a friendship with someone of the opposite sex while preserving the harmony in your romantic relationship?

Defensible female friends

There are some girls that you can have as friends without your girlfriend being able to justifiably complain about it. She might grumble about it, but she’ll have no ground to stand on. These women include those you were friends with before you got together with your girlfriend and those who are clearly in happy, stable relationships of their own. She also shouldn’t have a leg to stand on if she tries to bitch about a female friend that you are obviously not attracted to physically.

Female friends that are tougher to defend

On the other hand, there are some women you might want to have in your life that are understandably unacceptable to your girlfriend. If you have fooled around with your female friend in the past, it’s not difficult to see how that might bother your girlfriend. Ditto for the girl who has a questionable reputation. If your female friend has been known to go for attached guys, your girlfriend has a right to be suspicious. Finally, if your girlfriend genuinely dislikes your female friend -- for reasons other than the facts that she’s a girl and she’s friends with you -- you might want to take her opinion into account.

What you can do with your female friend

There are some activities you can do with your female friend that shouldn’t be threatening to your girlfriend. Your girlfriend will feel much more comfortable with you going out for drinks if you do it guy-style. Don’t go to a quiet wine bar where the atmosphere is romantic; instead, take your female friend to a loud pub and pound back some beers like she’s just one of the guys. As far as conversation topics go, talking about your mutual past with your female friend is allowed, but try not to do it too much in front of your girlfriend or she’ll start to feel left out. Take part in hobbies or interests that you and your female friend have in common and that your girlfriend isn’t into. It’s always a good idea to keep your time spent with your female friend in a group situation or at least in a public place.

Are sleepovers OK? Find out what you can't do with your female friend next...

What you can’t do with your female friends

In order to keep your relationship with your girlfriend steady and trouble-free, there are some activities that you should never do with your female friend. No. 1: absolutely no sleepovers. It doesn’t matter if you’re drunk, if there’s a storm outside or if she needs company after a breakup, there is no reason you should spend the night at your female friend’s house -- even if you sleep on the couch. Also, avoid date-like, full-evening plans (like dinner and a movie) in order to keep the atmosphere platonic. You should never choose to spend special occasions like holidays with your female friend instead of your girlfriend. Acting as a fill-in date for your friend for a wedding or office party is also a no-no. Basically, there shouldn’t be any aspect to your interactions that could force people to assume you’re dating.

Venus and Mars as friends

Men and women have many differences, but that shouldn’t stop us from being friends. A friendship between a man and a woman can be just as platonic as the ones you share with your male friends -- but it does require a little extra attention to make sure everyone involved is comfortable with the situation. You don’t have to give up your girl friend just because you have a girlfriend. Just be honest and aware of their feelings and you should be able to have the best of both worlds.

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Convince Her To Have A Threesome

Convince Her To Have A Threesome

Today's tip is for those couples that are willing to try new things and are very secure within their relationships. A threesome, if done correctly, can provide couples with a creative new way to explore their inner carnal desires.

So, you'd like to coax your woman into getting naughty and nasty with a third party? It could be an extremely difficult goal to attain. However, if your woman is very open-minded and sexually explicit, initiating a threesome can be a very simple task.

Threesomes aren't for everyone

First off, if your significant other isn't a very sexually open-minded individual, then it's quite unlikely that she'll be bringing another woman home any time soon. For instance, if she doesn't accept you ejaculating in her face, swallowing, or worse yet, giving fellatio altogether, then we suggest that you don't even bother suggesting the idea of a threesome.

If you do broach the topic and she's less than enthusiastic about the idea, then it's likely that you'll end up having your own little threesome for some time to come -- you and both of your hands. After all, if she refuses to let in you in anally, why in the world would she accept another woman in the boudoir?

Sorry guys, but some women will simply refuse to get involved in a situation that they believe is a potential threat to their relationship. If you know your girl well, then you can probably predict whether or not she'd be delighted with the idea of licking another woman's privates, or better yet, watching another woman lick yours.

Double your pleasure

For the rest of you who are pretty sure that your women will be keen on the idea of bringing another sexy vixen into the bedroom, here's the lowdown on how to bring up the idea.

Before anything, remember that you shouldn't act overenthusiastic, otherwise your girl might feel like this is your way of saying, "I want to cheat on you -- with your permission, of course." No matter how you bring it up, make sure that your girl knows that she is what matters most.

Gradually begin discussing sex and sexual fantasies. Put your fantasies out on display so that she can get an idea of what you like. When you begin discussing the date for three, don't say something like: "I've always wanted to bang two chicks at the same time!" You should know what to say and the repercussions of being part of a threesome.

Load the lesbian lingo

Instead say something like: "I would love to see you kissing another woman." This will flatter her and she won't feel threatened or as though you're dying to get into another woman's pants. This way, you get the bonus of joining in at some point once they're into it. If she's open to the whole "lesbian experience", then she'll concentrate more on the excitement of being with another woman, rather than "my man wants to have sex with another woman."

Your objective here is to make her understand that you do not want another woman (even though that's probably the furthest thing from the truth), you simply want the experience of two women.

Now, if you're lucky enough to have the opportunity to set something like this up, she obviously has to be the decision-maker on who the other woman will be.

Oh, and a word of advice for the oblivious at heart: Don't, we repeat don't push for someone considerably more attractive than your woman. She will only feel insecure and renege on the whole idea and once again, you'll be left with the "hairy palms" ordeal.

Three may be a crowd

The following are the potential repercussions that may come with engaging in a threesome:

• You're left out: It's possible that the two women may be getting off on each other so intensely that they'll forget you're even in the room. Believe us, it happens more often than you think.
• You lose respect for her: After the experience, it's possible that she may move from being the "girl I'm going to marry" to the "party girl." There are chauvinists amongst us and when we see a girl doing questionable things sexually, we habitually judge and condemn them for it. Blame it on years of evolution, or a lack thereof.
• She plays for the other team -- permanently: Some women are into the whole aspect of being with another woman, but sometimes the woman may decide that she actually prefers the bush rather than the snake.
• She becomes extremely jealous: Depending on how things go, your woman can become very jealous because you either paid too much attention to the other woman or the other woman paid too much attention to you.
• You become extremely jealous: Because you may get left out of the entire tryst altogether, you may become jealous due to the fact that you were neglected.
• Your relationship disintegrates: It's possible that you or she will realize that perhaps there's someone out there who is better suited to your needs -- at least sexually speaking.

Well, there you have it: a nice and easy way of attaining what you want through cunning means. Remember that there may be some serious repercussions following the ordeal so make certain that this is what you really want.

Until next time, remind your woman that all good things come in threes!

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