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Showing posts with label Understanding Women. Show all posts

Women's Body Issues:

Women's Body Issues: Their Fault Not Ours

Better Man in brief ...
Women's desires to approximate a model-size ideal causes issues -- not men.
Men like a woman with a little meat on her, so go ahead, ladies: eat up.
Ultimately, people should strive for healthy weights -- neither too skinny nor too fat.

"Many women believe it is men who force the ideal of the size-three figure on a woman, but it’s not -- it’s other women."

’Tis the season for peace, joy and weight gain. After Christmas and New Years, we will all jiggle a bit more. Women will feel like kicking themselves for their weight gain and will suffer from self-loathing that lasts long past the chocolate free-for-all of Easter.

What women don’t know is that many men get Yule logs in their pants when they see extra curves on the ladies. Did any of us really swear off Jessica Simpson when she gained a few extra pounds after her divorce? Sure, Kirstie Alley blew up too far to handle, and she was looney-tunes long before the weight gain anyway. Still, a little meat on a woman is sexy.

Weight and sexual attraction

There was a beautiful woman in my office that every man lusted after. She was one of those women who never saw herself as attractive, which gave her a great personality without the usual inferiority issues. She had perfect curves, large but not unmanageable breasts, and I often thought of how delightful it would be to hold onto her ass as I did her doggie style. That’s just the romantic in me. When she got divorced, another woman told me that this goddess admitted to having a crush on me. I had one of those “should-seek-medical-help” erections for days even without Viagra.

Her divorce crushed her and she started losing weight. Her breasts shrank, her hips and butt disappeared and, as became more and more able to hide behind a broom handle, my sexual desire for her disappeared. She was just too skinny.

While clothes hide a few extra pounds on a person, with the exception of muffin-top hip-huggers and too-small midriff-showing tops, the same can be said for women who are too skinny. I once had a woman appear nude and willing out of my bathroom, but the sight of her ribs and bony hips turned me off. I quickly came up with an excuse to keep from having sex with her. To this day, I don't think she ever believed I turned gay while she was disrobing in the bathroom.

Women’s body issues come from other women

Many women believe it is men who force the ideal of the size-three figure on a woman, but it’s not -- it’s other women. As comedienne Carol Leifer wrote for a Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George ask Elaine how women torture each other if not by giving wedgies, she replies: “We just tease her about a body part until she develops an eating disorder.”

If you want the truth, ask a comedian. It’s advertising and fashion that lie. Are those male-dominated? Well, fashion is, but I doubt that most male designers really have much more than a professional interest in women's breasts and asses. The women’s publications are not run or written by men -- and in a recent Marie Claire blog post, a female writer penned a brutal review of the show Mike & Molly for daring to show overweight people on TV. That show, meanwhile, has actually climbed to the top of the CBS lineup. The viewing public speaks.

Maura Kelly: case in point

Maura Kelly, the Marie Claire author who attacked television "fatties," has a profile picture that makes her look like the type of woman who shows up to a second date wearing a wedding dress with mascara ready to smear into tears at a man shocked at the thought of such a commitment. She writes: “While I think our country's obsession with physical perfection is unhealthy, I also think it's at least equally crazy, albeit in the other direction, to be implicitly promoting obesity. Yes, anorexia is sick, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny.”

"I'm sure daddy, like this woman’s father, loved them, gave them hugs and called them "My Princess," which caused further personality problems of a different sort."

She went further into the zone of insensitive stupidity by continuing, “to be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine [sic] addict slumping in a chair.”

It was only after 3,971 shocked and angry comments appeared in response to the piece that Ms. Kelly admitted to being an anorexic. (Most probably a “plump girl” who hated herself into lifelong sickness?) She admitted to anorexia but has probably kept the bulimia hidden deep in her “fat clothes closet.” I have dated that type. Note the past tense. It will stay that way.

Women, accept yourselves

Ms. Kelly, to her credit (or her willingness to bend to public humiliation, depending on how truthful you wish to be), wrote an update fumbling to explain her thoughts. A passage in her bio: “Though she's in her 30s, she's never been in love before -- and has started to wonder if she ever will be. She's decided she has to start making dating her job if it's ever going to happen,” says it all. Ms. Kelly, it won’t happen unless you learn to like donuts, Chinese buffets and -- more than anything else -- yourself for what you are.

Ms. Kelly, however, is not the only screwed-up woman in a position to be heard by gullible girls. After working for two years at a fashion magazine, I was shocked by how the female staff, all former models, treated each other. The competition to fit into the teensy clothing samples submitted by fashion designers for article reviews was fierce, and the women were passive-aggressively cruel to each other. And not always passively. These were the ones who were heard as the voices of the “modern woman.” They also had incredible food issues.

When I started dating one of the tall, lean fashion editors, I was quickly perplexed by her need to spend four hours in the gym every day. We went away for a long weekend and her one “must-have” was a place with a gym. She explained she couldn’t miss a day at the gym and her first love, the Stairmaster, or she would go into depression. Her other addiction was to about 20 pounds of carrot sticks daily.

Men are not to blame

It wasn’t until I met her parents and her mother showed me a high school photo of her daughter that I realized her problem. My girlfriend hadn't been fat in high school -- she was healthy, but still thought herself “too fat” due to the fashion magazines she worshiped, with articles by the likes of Ms. Kelly -- closeted freaks that cut themselves because mommy told them to not eat so many potatoes at dinner. I’m sure daddy, like this woman’s father, loved them, gave them hugs and called them “My Princess,” which caused further personality problems of a different sort.

Women are crushed by societal pressure for an ideal of “beauty.” Fake breasts, puffed-up lips, collagen injections and anus bleaching -- a woman should never bleach her anus due to the ideals of beauty; she should just do it to make her feel good about herself.

eat up, ladies

Being healthy is important. Any person who can’t walk up a flight of stairs without having a heart attack has a problem. Clothes that are a size (or five) too small for your figure look sloppy. If a value-meal at McDonald’s is considered an appetizer, then there is an eating disorder. We should all strive to be thin enough to be healthy, but you won’t find me complaining if you’re built for comfort instead of speed. Have a merry Christmas, ladies, and have a good helping of turkey, stuffing and dessert. There are many of us men who will help you work it off... Well, maybe ;-(

PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals Women's T-shirt, (Many Colors) Funny Womans T-shirt, Medium, Black
Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too
CK Products Brown Expression Cooking Apron "15 ExcUnited Stateses For Eating Chocolate . . . "
Henry Jaglom's Eating - A Very Serious Comedy About Women and Food
Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds

The minds of men are frequently occupied with sexual ideas that would repulse the average woman. While this is the typical case, don’t assume that your girlfriend doesn’t have a dirty side. One of the advantages of being in a long-term relationship is the opportunity to share your sexual fantasies with each other and try them out. Unfortunately, it may be a challenge to get your girl to reveal her nasty inner thoughts.

In order to determine if the girl you’re with is open to experimenting with dirty sex, start off by testing the waters with a few questions on the more innocent end of the sexual spectrum. Try: “Have you ever tied anyone up or been tied up?” “Do you own any sex toys?” “What do you fantasize about when you masturbate?” “What is something you’ve always wanted to try?”

These questions should get her to open up and start sharing some intimate details of her sexual personality with you. Then you can lead her down the path to dirtiness and hopefully get her to have dirty sex. If she gets scared off or grossed out by these questions, you have yourself a non-kinky girl -- too bad for you.

Still, even the innocent can be corrupted. Here are our suggestions to help you get her to have dirty sex.

Tell her about your fantasies

If you get the feeling that she’ll be receptive to taking a darker turn in your sex life together, take the first step by revealing some of your secret fantasies. Dole out a little at a time and see how she reacts. Hopefully, she’ll share some of her inner thoughts in return; when she does, make sure you show plenty of enthusiasm for her ideas if you want to get her to have dirty sex. An important thing to keep in mind when having this sharing session is to keep it in the realm of fantasy. Don’t start telling her about dirty sex you’ve had in the past with other women or your whole plot will come to a screeching halt.

Make it new for both of you

Approach the dirty experimentation like it’s new for both of you. Think of something you’ve never tried before and suggest that you try it together. If she knows you’re starting out on a level playing field, she’ll be more likely to let her inhibitions go and get wild with you. If you want to get her to have dirty sex with you and you act like you’re an expert in the area, chances are she’s going to freeze up on you instead of enjoying herself.

Play a sex game

So you’re both open to the idea of getting dirtier in bed together. Now, how do you get started? Talking about it is a lot easier than actually introducing the nastiness into your sex life. A sex game might be just the thing to help you get started. Visit a sex shop and check out the card and board games they have for sale. These are usually aimed at couples that want to add some excitement to their love life and they should give you some ideas. Or, use your imagination and make up your own game together at home. The idea is to get both of you to open up and start trying things out. If all else fails, you can always fall back on the old standard of Truth or Dare.

Watch porn or read erotic stories

Get each other in the mood by watching porn stars get it on or by reading some stimulating erotic fiction. Even if she’s not normally into watching porn, when you’re trying to get dirty with each other, she may be open to incorporating a video or two. Erotic writing of a less-than-professional caliber can be found all over the internet, but there are also quality sexy stories available from people with actual skill. Take a trip to the bookstore together and pick out something that looks promising.

Initiate

You are probably going to have to be the one to make the first move if you want to get a little nastier in the bedroom. Even if you’ve piqued her interest, she’s still not likely to start things off herself. Start talking dirty, set the mood and hopefully she’ll follow your lead.

she may surprise you

For most women, revealing their private, filthy thoughts may be difficult, let alone actually acting on them with you. Once you get her comfortable talking about it, disclose some of your own secrets ideas, gather some inspiration and try new things. You may be surprised to find out that your girl is more of a freak in bed than you would’ve guessed.

My Erotic Fantasies - Volume 1 (Jennifer)
Dirty Love (Unrated Edition)
Dirty Words: A Literary Encyclopedia of Sex
Deluxe Dirty Minds
Sex Style: The Unreleased Archives

Player Strategy : From Seafood to Sex

How To Get Her From The Table To The Bed...

There’s always a need for timing and tact when attempting to get a woman into bed. All women are different, but for the most part there are several approaches that will typically result in success -- provided you are patient, observant and talented in the intimate arts.

So, how do you make the transition from dinner to bed? This is an especially big challenge because most ladies have a variety of requirements, beyond holding their attention, that must be met before they even consider sharing themselves, and even the best of men aren’t mind readers. Therefore, we have to examine a few general options that could potentially pertain to a large number of presumably receptive females. It’s about preparing in advance, maintaining a certain amount of subtlety and knowing when the time is right to make the final move. To make the transition from dinner to bed is a series of steps, just like anything else in this crazy game -- but how to begin?

Take her to a sensual dinner

No woman can resist the allure of a perfectly planned evening, punctuated by excellent food and even better company. But it goes beyond merely paying her a few carefully worded compliments, holding doors and pulling out her chair. It’s about preparing for the ultimate goal, which means you should put an emphasis on the atmosphere; leave her suspended between appreciative pleasure and excited surprise. This should be like no other meal she’s ever experienced.

You will make it unique by focusing on her senses; the sights and smells of her surroundings should place her in a state of loving receptivity, and this requires precise attention to detail: the lighting, the manner in which the courses are served and, certainly, the courses themselves. You will eat well, but light -- nobody is feeling amorous when stuffed. Perhaps a bit of sushi or an arrangement of original appetizers will be both exotic and strangely enticing.

Make an evening of it

Regardless of your confidence, effort is always required. These days, it seems as if guys think they can get away with a standard dinner at a mediocre chain restaurant, a quick trip to the mall and a “Man, you look hot tonight” comment. Most women are sick of this lax approach to a romantic, sensual evening. And be original, for crying out loud. Everyone does the dinner-and-movie bit, so how about taking her to the opera instead? Dressing up is something women tend to enjoy and whether you do or not, it doesn’t change the fact that formal wear does indeed make us look and feel better about ourselves.

If not the theater or opera, perhaps a gallery opening or a moonlit walk in the park, or maybe it can be more casual; maybe you can return to your place and attempt to make a dessert together. The bottom line is that effort will always be rewarded, helping you make the transition from dinner to bed, and an hour or two of doing the mundane and expected doesn’t qualify.

Stop for a nightcap

So, you’ve managed the dinner and she’s enjoying herself immensely. But you get the feeling that in order to maintain -- and perhaps even enhance -- her amorous feelings toward you, it’s best to keep her warm. Usually, the best way to accomplish this is to stop for a nightcap toward the end of the evening. A club or bar isn’t your target, though; those places are designed for singles and offer nothing in the way of intimacy. You already have your girl; you just want to sit for a bit, talk and take in a cocktail or two in order to keep her in the correct frame of mind.

This isn’t about getting her drunk, because if she is, the entire idea of a beautiful evening together flies directly out the window. This is merely about the aforementioned warmth; it’s about making her pupils dilate just a tad and ensuring that when you return home, the bed is a guaranteed destination.

Stop on the couch

Many men don’t quite realize that foreplay actually should begin outside the bedroom. Women appreciate a prequel, a hint of what is to come; it excites them and if done correctly, a receptive lady’s eyes will glaze over with lust before you get anywhere near the bedroom.

The couch allows you to have a nice, quiet, intimate conversation after dinner. When she speaks, she knows she has your full attention -- which is a huge turn-on for her to begin with -- and after several humorous anecdotes and a few hesitant touches by both parties, things can escalate easily from there. Just make sure you do move from the couch to the bed. Not only is it far more comfortable, but it seems to boost the woman’s confidence level. Just going at it out there on the couch lends the experience a campy, almost porn-like atmosphere, which doesn’t always work for a first-time encounter.

tricks of the trade

There’s no real “trick” to make the transition from dinner to bed. Sometimes, it may feel like trying to solve the puzzle before the moment of truth and all women are indeed different. But in reality, the majority will respond to a carefully designed evening that elicits trust, confidence and, of course, those innate female drives to feel a man’s touch.

Players
Player's Handbook Volume 1 - Pickup and Seduction Secrets For Men Who Love Women & Sex (and Want More of Both)
Players: Con Men, Hustlers, Gamblers, and Scam Artists
How to Be a Player

We’ve come a long way since the days when science doubted the existence of the female orgasm. Today, a woman’s sexual satisfaction is a major field of study and the average couple has spent a great deal of time trying to improve her experience. This is certainly appreciated, but some of you may be trying too hard; her level of satisfaction may already be everything she could hope for. That’s right: You may be striving toward a goal that has been based entirely on myth. This misinformation circulates with surprising frequency and you may be shocked (if not relieved) to learn how wrong some of them are. Read on as we discuss, and set right, the biggest female orgasm myths around.

All women want a G-spot orgasm

Put in the simplest terms possible: This is a load of crap. While it’s true that many women lust for G-spot orgasms, it’s a complete orgasm myth that all women desire such a thing. For many women, having the G-spot stimulated -- even "correctly" -- results in a sensation that can only be described as extremely uncomfortable. It can make a woman feel like she needs to urinate immediately, and that’s never fun. It can also cause her to feel pain, and not in a sexy S&M kind of way, either. In fact, the whole stimulating the G-spot thing can annoy some women to the point where it completely turns them off for the rest of the evening. Yes, some women love having their G-spot stimulated -- but many don’t.

Women need a skilled partner to orgasm

Many men pride themselves on their ability to make a woman orgasm (and your skills are definitely appreciated), but the ultimate responsibility for a woman’s orgasm belongs to her. It’s perfectly normal for a woman to have difficulty achieving a vaginal orgasm -- that’s why God invented the clitoris. Meaning: She can still achieve a fabulous orgasm even if her lover is a virgin with limited experience and know-how. A man’s efforts are certainly helpful, but if she’s not achieving orgasm she has no one to blame but herself. Additionally, many women suffer from performance anxiety just as men do. If a woman falls into this category, even the most skillful of men wouldn’t be able to make her orgasm, regardless of his efforts.

Women need to orgasm to enjoy themselves

This orgasm myth couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex feels good whether you have an orgasm or not, and when combined with the right level of intimacy, the experience can be immensely satisfying regardless of whether or not she climaxes. Many women even prefer foreplay to actual sex and orgasm. Why? Because, for some women kissing, hugging and caressing are more satisfying than anything you see in porn flicks. If you combine these acts of affection with slow and steady penetration, most women will be perfectly content at the end of your love session.

Vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms

This orgasm myth is a bit like comparing apples and oranges. OK, not exactly, but you get the idea. The basic point is this: Both are perfectly lovely and they can be equally satisfying. The only reason vaginal orgasms are regarded as the Holy Grail of ecstasy is how infrequently they occur. Statistically speaking, it’s estimated that 30% of women will never even experience one and only 30% do so with regularity. That means you have a very good chance of dating or marrying a woman who will never achieve a vaginal orgasm. Unfair as that may sound, clitoral orgasms are not to be taken lightly; they can be absolutely earth-shattering under the right circumstances, and some women prefer them. Clitoral orgasms are wonderful and there is no reason to pity a woman who hasn’t experienced an orgasm through vaginal stimulation.

Women can’t ejaculate

Anyone who still believes this orgasm myth has clearly never seen a good porn film. Women can definitely ejaculate, and some can do so more forcefully (and with more volume) than men. It’s a relatively new acknowledgment in the scientific community, so the research still leaves something to be desired, but there’s plenty of evidence to support the claim. We know that women ejaculate through the urethra, just like men. Female ejaculate contains the same substances male ejaculate contains, and it’s produced in the "female prostate" -- an organ which is extremely similar to the male prostate, albeit smaller. Women seem to ejaculate primarily through direct stimulation of the G-spot (some scientists believe this is actually the urethral sponge), but not all women can or will experience ejaculation. So, if she doesn't have a gushing end, don't think she didn't enjoy herself, just try again another time.

orgasmic mythology

So there you have it: Five female orgasm myths totally debunked. While it’s admirable to concern yourself with your woman’s pleasure and level of satisfaction, you’re not solely responsible for her orgasm. If she doesn’t have one, she could still be having the time of her life. If, however, you really have your heart set on making her holler, we recommend asking her to masturbate for you, which will provide plenty of insight (and quite a show) into how she prefers to reach orgasm.

Getting together with some friends and spending the night at a strip club might seem like good, clean fun to you, but chances are your girlfriend has a decidedly more negative view of your chosen activity. Why does she get so angry when you stumble home smelling like booze and cheap perfume? It’s not like you had sex with another woman, right? It turns out she has a bit of a different perspective on the situation.

Here at The Man Shed, we believe that there’s nothing wrong with strip clubs as long as you’re going to them for the right reasons -- namely, to have some fun with friends. If you’re heading to a strip joint with the intention to get off with a stripper, you’re giving guys a bad name and you'll never be a Better Man with those goals.

If you are indeed a decent guy who occasionally likes to hang out with his buddies while innocently appreciating some exotic dancing, yet your girlfriend simply can’t get over it, she may be what we refer to at The Man Shed as a beautiful pain in the ass. We’ll help you figure out if her protests are justified or if you’d be better off without her.

Here's why women hate strip clubs and the naked truth about her claim.

She’s worried you’ll cheat

Despite your insistence that you follow the strict no-touch policy most strip clubs have in place, she may still be concerned that you’ll stray. After all, it is a highly sexual environment fueled by plenty of alcohol, which results in an atmosphere that makes indiscretions all the more tempting. She knows that you’ll be thinking with your other head while you’re there and she fears the lure of infidelity might win out over your loyalty to her.

The naked truth: The average, decent guy does not go to a strip club with these expectations, but we can understand how she may get this impression. Explain to her the function of strip clubs to men: they are recreational spaces for chilling out with friends, not somewhere a guy goes with a sexual agenda. If she persists in her suspicion, she may be a beautiful pain in the ass.

She suspects you’re comparing

Strippers generally have the kind of bodies that men idolize. They wouldn’t have their jobs if they didn’t. Your girlfriend may be feeling insecure that she is being compared to these fantasy objects -- and that's a big reason why women hate strip clubs.

The naked truth: This has nothing to do with the strip club and everything to do with her lack of self-esteem. Everyone is insecure at times, but if this is constantly a big deal for her, she’s probably a beautiful pain in the ass, or at least has deeper issues that go far beyond the strip club and should be discussed.

She thinks it’s degrading to women

Many women hat strip clubs because they think that these venues are degrading to women and encourage chauvinistic attitudes. The idea of a group of drunk, horny men hooting at a girl taking her clothes off on stage for money is probably not exactly what the feminists of the sexual revolution had in mind.

The naked truth: She does have a bit of a point here. This reaction has more to do with her moral position than it does with an assessment of you or the relationship, so it’s tough to hold it against her.

She thinks it’s trashy

Your disapproving girlfriend may be considering your reputation when she gets huffy about you going to strip clubs. She may not want you to be seen in such an establishment simply because she thinks it doesn’t speak well of your character. She views the strip club as a place for seedy, deviant guys and not for her mature, evolved Better Man. She may also be worried about your professional image, should anyone important see you there.

The naked truth: This is definitely food for thought. Are there people in your life that you would be ashamed to be seen by as you’re stumbling out of a strip club? If so, maybe you should acknowledge that you are putting your image at risk every time you do.

She wonders why she isn’t enough

Some women believe that what a girlfriend provides you with at home should be enough to satisfy your sexual side. She doesn’t understand why you’d want to go watch some other women take off their clothes when you could be at home touching and being touched by your loving girlfriend.

The naked truth: She obviously doesn’t have a very good understanding of male sexuality. If you’re looking but not touching, this is more about her issues than it is about you or the strip club. She is a beautiful pain in the ass.

She thinks you're wasting money

She might think that you’re spending too much at the strip club. It’s all about money for the dancers who want to take as much of it from you as they possibly can. Add to that the horribly overpriced drinks and a night at the strip club can add up pretty quickly.

The naked truth: If you're having tough times with money or have a savings goal for a big purchase you’re trying to make, she is within her rights to question you forking out your cash at the strip club. Fun is fun, but keep your priorities in order.

strip tease truths

Some of these reasons that women hate strip clubs are understandable while others are a little ridiculous. Most of them stem from your girlfriend feeling insecure and a little reassurance from you that she’s the one you love and are devoted to may be all she needs to feel more comfortable with the idea of you spending time at the strip club. On the other hand, she may very well be letting her issues overpower any reasonable argument and, in that case, you may be better off finding a girl who is a little more confident and a little less of a beautiful pain in the ass.

* We got off the Titanic first.
* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
* We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
* We can cry and get off speeding fines.
* We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
* Taxis stop for us.
* We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
* Free drinks, free dinners, free movies.
* New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
* No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
* We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
* If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
* We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
* We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
* We have the ability to dress ourselves.
* We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
* There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
* We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
* We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes

You’ve heard of the Oedipus complex, right? According to Freud, it is the theory that every man secretly wants to kill his dad and have sex with his mom. (We know. That’s totally creepy behavior.) But perhaps you haven’t heard of the Electra complex. It’s a psychological term developed by Freud’s colleague Carl Jung. For Jung, the Electra complex denotes a woman’s sexual attachment to her father and a corresponding competitive hostility toward her mother. It’s from Jung’s Electra complex that we’ve derived the modern concept of “daddy issues.”

These days, people say a woman has daddy issues when she appears to be seeking attention from men in order to compensate for the attention she may not have received from her father. When we talk about her daddy issues, we’re generally talking about things like aggressive flirtation, promiscuity, a tendency toward exhibitionism, and certain emotional hang-ups.

Whether her daddy issues are actually the result of her relationship with her father or whether “daddy issues” is just the label society has chosen to attach to this kind of behavior, it is a set of characteristics you might encounter in a woman. Consequently, you need to know how to recognize her daddy issues and how to handle them.

Sexual aggressiveness

Most guys delight at the idea of a sexually aggressive woman. But if a woman is grinding up against you on a dance floor, initiating public groping and dragging you into her bedroom on the first date, it might be a sign of her daddy issues. If you’re up for a one-night stand, there’s probably nothing you need to do except enjoy the ride. But if you’re interested in a relationship with this girl, your strategy should be to take things slow. If her sexy signals are overly aggressive, tell her you want to slow down and get to know her before doing the deed. Make plans for a future date instead of stripping each other’s clothes off. Show her you’re interested in more than just sex and she won’t feel quite as desperate to impress you with her sexual prowess.

Excessive flirting

It’s a stereotype that girls with daddy issues flirt a lot. And maybe it was even her flirting that got your attention in the first place. Once she’s your girlfriend, though, flirting with strange men is not going to fly.

It’s important to recognize that not all women flirt because they’re interested in the guy they’re talking to. Your girlfriend may be flirting because she craves attention and enjoys the rush of developing sexual tension with a stranger. The best way to deal with this manifestation of her daddy issues is to confront her about it. Tell her you’re not OK with it. The extra attention from you will likely offset the attention she’s been seeking from random guys.

Clinginess

We typically apply the “daddy issues” label to women who seem to crave male attention -- and ploys for male attention can take many forms, including clinginess. Every woman wants care and assurance from her partner and, of course, girlfriends want to spend quality time with their boyfriends. But a girl with daddy issues wants those things in excess. She may throw a fit whenever you make plans without her. She might beg and bargain whenever you try to leave her apartment. It’s important to keep her daddy issues in check by establishing strict boundaries. Stick to your guns and maintain a separate social life. If you give in to a bout of clinginess once, you’re sunk forever.

Compare and contrast

As we said at the outset, according to Jung, her daddy issues are all connected to her relationship with her father. Whether you buy Jung’s theory or not, we think it’s fair to say that a woman’s relationship with her father affects her romantic relationships. If her dad failed to show her love and affection, she might grow up expecting the worst from men. If you find her blowing up over minor screw-ups, it might be because your mistake reminds her of her father’s poor parenting.

The key in these situations is to make your partner aware of these unfair comparisons. You are not her father, for better or worse. You can only be yourself; show her the reliable, attentive and caring guy you are, and eventually she’ll stop blaming you for someone else’s mistakes.

If only women were so simple

We recognize that diagnosing a woman with “daddy issues” is necessarily an oversimplification, but the fact is that “daddy issues” have become cultural shorthand for a set of behaviors exhibited by some women. If you’re a guy, whether or not you consider these behaviors to be “daddy issues,” you still need to be aware of what they look like and how to deal with them.

...There Are Things She Misses About Being Single.

Of course she loves being in a relationship with you. She had been searching for the right guy and you came into her life to fulfill her wish. Now life should be totally blissful, right? As hard as she tried to get coupled up with someone special, now that she’s with you, there are probably going to be moments when she wistfully remembers what it was like to be a single girl. As happy as you are with her, there are likely things you miss about your single life too. Learn what she might be pining for and how you, her perfect boyfriend, should deal with it. If you can both be a little more accommodating in these areas it will ultimately strengthen your relationship.

SHE MISSES:

Harmless flirting

Before you came along, she had grown accustomed to flirting with the guy behind the counter at the coffee shop she stops at every morning, her coworker two cubicles down and the single male members of her social circle. Now she has to be conscious of every time she bats her eyelashes or tosses her hair. She may occasionally slip up -- she’s only human -- but instead of acting jealous, cut her a little slack. Flirting is usually harmless, so if she’s a little extra friendly with the guy at the video store, let it slide.

If she constantly flirts with other guys in front of you and is inconsiderate of your feelings, then you’ve got a genuine complaint. But if she is just being her charming self, give her a little room for some harmless flirting.

Her healthy diet

You probably don’t think much of your greasy food and beer diet, but there’s a good chance it’s not her usual meal plan. Many women find that when they enter a relationship, certain aspects of their lives must adapt to accommodate a man’s presence, including what they eat. As a general rule, guys are not as conscious of healthy eating as women are and she may miss a time when the fridge contained fresh vegetables.

It wouldn’t kill you to try to eat a little better or try some new foods. Plus, cooking together can be a lot of fun and help you feel closer as a couple.

Time to herself

It’s not that she doesn’t like spending every waking minute with you, but before you walked into her life, she had a lot more time on her hands and some of it was spent by herself. As a single girl, she may have bemoaned this alone time, wishing she had someone special to share it with, but now that she’s attached, she may start to realize how valuable a little “me time” can be.

Giving her a little time to herself isn’t hard, and being apart every now and then will make both of you more appreciative of your time together.

Unplanned time with her friends

A woman’s best girlfriends are hugely important in her life. They’ve been there through horrible breakups, exciting celebrations, excruciating losses, and thrilling highs. When she was single, she was able to get together with them whenever and wherever she pleased, and it is these spontaneous get-togethers that she may be missing now that she’s one-half of a couple.

Be willing to compromise when her girls need her attention and she’ll be more understanding next time you go out with your buddies.

Not cleaning up after you

It may be a cliché, but in most cases it’s true that guys exhibit less-than-stellar housekeeping practices. Your girlfriend may be fondly remembering a time before your dirty socks were strewn across the bedroom floor and your dishes were piled up in the sink for days at a time. You are an adult now, and she is not your mother.

Don’t make her feel like a maid. Pick up your socks, do the dishes and reap the rewards in your relationship by avoiding domestic tension.

Not being your emotional crutch

When you’re in a relationship, you’re the automatic go-to person when your partner is in crisis. The responsibility of helping you with work problems, family issues or other troubles can be trying at times when she’s the first, and sometimes only, one you go to in need. When she was single, she was accustomed to only having to shoulder her own issues, and sometimes adding yours might be too much to carry.

If you can see that she’s feeling particularly overwhelmed at the moment, try to lean on the other people in your life -- your friends, siblings, parents -- instead of doubling her emotional burden.

Answering only to herself

As a single woman, the only person she had to answer to was herself. Now, she has to consider your opinion and feelings before making any major decisions. She may miss being able to choose what color to paint the living room without having to consider what you think, but now that she’s with you, your thoughts are just as important as hers when it comes to things that affect you both.

In the case of serious life choices such as deciding whether to take a new job offer across the country, you should naturally be involved in the decision-making process, but if it’s a choice you’re not really interested in being involved in, let her take the reins and be in charge.

Try to help her forget

Sure, there are some aspects of being single that are pretty appealing, but nothing beats a fun, supportive, fulfilling relationship. Remember that it’s important for both of you to maintain your independence and have lives apart from each other, or you may soon find that the person she has changed into is not the wonderful one you first fell in love with.

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened the bottle.

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii.

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"

Somewhere on the long list of things men don’t understand about women is a woman’s tendency to treat her man like a child, which usually happens at the first indication of a committed relationship. During the casual dating/courtship phase, she may be independent, flexible and accommodating, but as soon as you’re committed, a switch flips in her head and she turns into your second mother and treats you like a child. There are benefits to this transformation (nurturing affection tops the list), but there are also drawbacks, like nagging and lecturing.

Ultimately, this mother/son dynamic can be the death of a romantic relationship: The person you have sex with should not remind you of the person who gave birth to you. So, how can you nip her motherly behavior in the bud and get back to a loving, equal partnership? Read on to learn what to do when she treats you like a child.

Her maternal instinct

As much as some women would like to fight against their inherent biology, they were made to bear and raise children. When women don’t have children of their own, they tend to project all their nurturing instincts toward the closest person in need, which, in this case, is you. Not all women are destined to or even want to be mothers, but most women have the capacity and even the drive to take care of something or someone. When this comes in the form of making you soup when you’re sick or listening to your troubles after a long day at work, it is most welcome. When it results in repeated requests for you to cut your hair already or pick up your bloody socks, it may bring out the teenager in you.

What to do: When she treats you like a child, you can counteract the negative results of her maternal instinct by acting like a man. She is less likely to think of you as a child if you regularly demonstrate that you are strong, independent and self-sufficient.

Her mother

The deciding factor when it comes to whether your girl’s care-taking tendencies come out as the over-bearing, nagging mother complex or the soft, caring mommy incarnation is what kind of mother she grew up with herself. Women tend to carry on the traits they learn from their mothers, no matter how hard they may try not to -- and when she treats you like a child, this isn’t always a good thing. This doesn’t mean that you’re destined to be with the mirror image of your potential future mother-in-law (and if she’s a real bat, you have our pity), but chances are good that your girl has picked up at least a few of her tricks. On the other hand, if her mom is warm, open and bakes you cookies, you should marry that girl immediately because that kind of mother-in-law is few and far between.

What to do: If your girl is starting to display the negative characteristics she has learned from her mother, point it out to her. If she is one of the many women who doesn't want to end up like her mother, this should be enough to set her straight. You could even agree on a quick code word that you can use when she’s throwing a mom fit, like referring to her by her mom’s name.

You asked for it

Naturally, another potential reason for her to treat you like a child is because you’re acting like one. It’s no secret that women mature faster than men, so you and she may not be on the same page when it comes to maturity levels. You may want to pull a teenage rebellion fit when she tells you there isn’t enough money in your budget to buy a PlayStation 3, but keep in mind that the more you act like you’re 12, the greater the chance she’s going to pull out her mom look and stare you down.

What to do: Act your age and the nagging should subside. If you can rationally explain your behavior or desires, do so. If, however, you can’t come up with any adult reason for them, just cut it out.

Looking out for you

Whether it comes out as nurturing or nagging, in most cases it comes from a place of genuine affection. If she didn’t care so much about you she wouldn’t bother to lecture you on how much fast food you’ve been eating. Just remind her, calmly and without a confrontational attitude, that you are an adult and fully capable of making your own decisions. Add that you very much value her advice and appreciate her help and you’ll earn major relationship brownie points in the process. Sometimes her reminders are genuinely helpful; try to see them for what they are and don’t overreact.