Sexual Body Language

Sexual Body Language

Sometimes it can be hard to tell what’s going on with your girl: Is she enjoying herself? Are you doing it right? Is she satisfied? Women can be hard to read, especially when it comes to sex. Though, all in all, if she is getting off you are bound to know about it on some level. If you’re not so sure and need some reassurance, check out her more subtle signs -- her sexual body language.

She will show you -- hopefully in no uncertain terms -- how you’re performing. Her body will display some overall signs of arousal that she can’t fake, but remember every woman is different. So, yes, it can often be just as difficult to get nonverbal feedback on your performance when there are so many variables. So, we've put together some general sexual body language signs that she's getting exactly what she wants from you.

Rapid breathing

Our breath when resting is a very peaceful and tranquil movement of air in and out of our lungs. It has the delightful title of "inspiration" for breathing in, and "expiration" for breathing out. When a woman is turned on, however, this breath comes in urgent puffs and probably has some involuntary moans escape with it as the air is forced quickly past her vocal cords. The increase in heart rate when her body prepares for orgasm means her internal organs and muscles are demanding more oxygen. If you can hear her breath change, you’re on the right track. If you can feel her heart thumping, you’re well on your way. This is her sexual body language giving you signals that she's aroused. However, if she's breathing normally after having her "big orgasm," perhaps she’s a big faker.

General writhing around and body movement

If your girl is curling her toes and writhing against you, chances are she's probably enjoying herself. Grinding and pushing against you means that she's really getting into it. If she's lying there limp, then things probably aren’t happening for her. Try changing positions, or stop entering her and warm her up from the beginning with your mouth or hands and see how her sexual body language progresses from there.

Thrusting hips

When she meets your thrusts, you’re doing something right. It's pretty safe to say that if she's matching your body movements and is in time with you, then she's getting something out of it. Good sex is often very synchronized, as that is how our bodies are designed to produce orgasm; repeated movements in the right spot build to a climaxing. The trouble is finding the right spot, of which there are many. If she isn’t meeting your thrusts then her sexual body language is telling you that she wants something else, so change positions and see how she responds.

Arms splayed out

If she's holding herself close she may not be feeling wild abandon -- her arms may be around you, her hands may be on your chest, above your head, wherever, except they're being held in close to her own body. If she's on top she may need her arms to maneuver herself and give herself some leverage to get the best angle. This is certainly not a definitive gesture, but can be useful. Her body should be responding to the situation at hand. She shouldn't be worried about covering herself up or where her arms are. If her arms are stretched wide, either held out to the side or splayed out on the bed sheets, you can bet her sexual body language is telling you you're right where you need to be and she's comfortable (and enjoying the ride). 

Vaginal muscle movement

You have one of your most sensitive parts inside one of her most sensitive parts -- with each movement inside of her you can feel the walls of her vagina, the muscles and flesh. The vaginal wall is an incredibly strong muscle and she will probably use this to some extent for her own pleasure during sex. You may also feel the contracting and relaxing during orgasm -- her vagina spasms and this will clench you to some degree -- but not always, so don’t use that as a benchmark. Some women do have great control, and those who do are likely to have better sex and orgasms in general. If you don’t feel any clenching, don’t panic. You may know already by the feel of her vagina when she's not far away from orgasm -- she may let you enter further, or the overall sensation may be "just right" for you both. Only you can tell, so pay careful attention to her sexual body language and what’s going on inside of her.

learn the language of lovin'

Women love sex as much as men do, but what's sometimes missing is the self-knowledge, and of course a skilled partner who brings out the erotic best in himself and her. If you're unsure as to whether your lover is enjoying herself during sex, there is a need for more investigation. Communicate verbally and non-verbally; ask her what she wants you to do, carefully watch and listen to her responses to what you’re doing and don’t assume that what worked for your other girlfriends is going to work for her. Every woman (and man) has different tastes and won’t necessarily respond to the same touches, so try a few different things and don’t stick to a routine. Experiment, tease, tantalize, change positions. When you hear her moan, you’ll know you've hit just the right spot, so don't stop there.


The Definitive Book of Body Language
Winning Body Language: Control the Conversation, Command Attention, and Convey the Right Message without Saying a Word
The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter
Body Language For Dummies
Body Language 101: The Ultimate Guide to Knowing When People Are Lying, How They Are Feeling, What They Are Thinking, and More